the small insect - he flew into my mouth and i simply inhaled5/28/2021
Thoughts are nothing unless they are acted upon
My thoughts are your thoughts- they are unique only in context of my timeline.
They all float on the surface of 1 big body of water
The human ocean
I have another Hesse novel being sent in post. "Demian"
Excited to have a novel to sink my teeth into
Need some fiction
I have not been active online lately, and it is because I have been strapped for time man,, Even had to walk on a project// For a second here I took on a bit too much to handle,
Felt liberating to just shift my full attention back to the single project at hand,
which I hope to have completed by the end of the weekend.
human cannot juggle infinite objects.
Learning my personal limitations-
My maximum mental carrying capacity.
The only way we find the sweet spots in life is if we overshoot the boundaries, and then we can descend back to the smooth fly zone
Coast into thee infinite horizon with the FM stereo on full blast inside the cockpit of my 1/100 Scale F-15 Jet Fighter Attack Plane
(freeze frame , smiling at the camera)
I have this weird feeling, that the days feel much shorter to me. The sun sets much later though- Around 8 P.M. This is odd to me, because normally I feel the opposite during summer. But somehow, my winter habits of grinding into the late night have switched off and I struggle to get meaningful work done past 9PM. Because of this weirdness, I will begin adjusting my sleep schedule in order to wake up at 7 AM. This way, I will make a better day =)
There are so many projects I wish to make a reality. It is difficult for me. I am thankful to have this problem, and I do not take the inspiration for granted
1 Design Document:
Animation here by a guy called Henry who kindly emailed me his work in a triumphant thank you as he prepares for his next chapter of life and the inevitable dungeons of artistry that walk alongside: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBMJczZcKTQ&t=5s___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Love the flipnote work ,and the music sheet muscle tissue
Topic: Pushback:Any opposition you feel to a goal is doubled down by a self affirming mind. This is one of the great filters of creation- Remember that external pushback to an idea or vision that you have embarked on comes from a very very small pool of individials. the opposition/negativity towards your pursuit comes from projection, and the fear that you will succeed. We are all fragile humans balancing on a balance beam. An offhanded remark is one of the easiest moves a person can make.
The trick to succeeding is to power on and find meaning in the work you desire to make; purpose beyond the audience. Find meaning in the stuggle and the primal pursuit of creating something which is not yet created. That is what we live for, is to chase that animal til its dead in our hands. and we enjoy it, for a period of time. and then we must pursue the next animal
Email Question:'if you could consume a piece of media for the first time again, what would you pick?'
I watched samurai champloo with my girl friend at the time 5 or 6 summers ago, over the course of a few days,, The memory glows: Relaxation- Calmness- Excitement- Life without urgency- Slow journey slow burn just like the show. But it makes you think too; mugen and jin dedicated their entire lives up to that point to becoming the best at what they do. It inspired me upon introspection. It still does inspire me. Someday i hope for a journey like that. Where the crafts and skills take second to the mission at hand, only accompanying the ride as a vessel VS the captain. . A mission that may not seem that important or necessary, but takes you along anyway
^makes me feel calm and happy
Peace Out For now
true break-through- novel imagery and idea
Conjuring from inside a vehicle programmed to inhibit fantastical free-form thought. The forefront of mind domain fights to keep order and peace.
The trick: A focused pull and release of tension on the subject that plays on your stage.
my subjects come from my past- present and future. my childhood. curious hopeful and humbled by the complex linkings of this 1 truth,,, my subjective experience. I see From thee light through my skull windows .try to break it down into little grains of sand so I can figure out how I could best make a sharp shot at symbolizing the pure mined Metal Ore.
I wana make the banging videos. to make me happy inside to push for the best. to shoot for the stars. We Dive in blind sometimes. if you have your head cap screwed on somewhat correct- we can make anything we wana
|Saturday April 10 2021
The warmth returns the summer rolls in slowly but surely- relaxation mixed in with uncompromised excitement for my work and for my future. I can only look forward , dwelling on the past makes my head hurt and my feelings become tangled with self-doubt, expectation, fear of failure. The dread comes in a passing feeling once every so often, as if everything I have worked so hard to make reality is and will be for nothing. These feelings approach me when I attempt to spread word of my work, it eats at my soul because it was never meant to be marketed- none of my work was meant to be shared, it has not been designed in that way. So it makes me uncomfortable and confused to attempt to gain traction. I am eternally thankful to the kindness and intrigue that reaches my mailbox or a note below the video as simple as the word KINO. makes me laugh like a kid when I see it. Really cant say enough for the humans that back the work in any way shape or form.
I am juiced to continue progressing
Thinking about pausing patreon- because it takes away from my mind dojo. Love everyone who finds it and throws a coffee my way, or a long time supporter who buys a cup of joe each month for me; thee Worker bee. but i cant find the time to be as active on the platform as i would like. lets be real: the platform itself is whacky- the website runs like ass- bloated design and simple things are either harder than they should be or just not possible. not to mention: my work takes a bunch of time. so it feels bad, as if i werent working for long periods of time. but the true nature is that I work nearly every day, diligently, to make the moving pictures come to life
luckily, Most understand the reality- animation, and creation in general take massive time, whether or not you are 1-man or multi-man. this is something I accept. the goal is to evolve your brain along the way and to say fuck it have a bit of fun with the project because its all silly anyways-
making anything is a bit silly, But it is far less silly than allowing life to zip by passively >=)
message in a bottle yeah???PeaceOUt- jack
not force only time
Witness information, knowledge, culture, IDEAS exchanged at the speed of light across the globe,,,.
Is it fair to assign a linear path progression to computer graphics as an artform? Where is this train headed? How far does the timeline extend of "classic" computer graphics- Vs. the inevitable advancements that lie ahead.
There is value in any type of expression- as long as that expression is thoughtful and true. Do not draw water from the mind-lake without caution-If you seek clear, fresh water you will draw from beneath the film of oil that lies on the lake's surface
We live in a world that moves lightning fast- Of course we consider the space of the medium to be segmented; it is natural and logical to think this way along a timeline. But To think a medium as young and as promising as computer graphics has seen its full cycle course of progression and nuance is foolish.
What I am trying to ask myself whether any "revival" of style within The medium of CG as it exists now ... Is only illusion to us in the present
All that should matter to a human who wishes to create, right now, with computer graphics. Should throw all of the rules that other humans shout Straight out the window. And break the rules boldy- confidently- And thoroughly. Do it purposefully and with conviction. And doing so, Will allow the entire medium to mature and be capable of expressive power that speaks loud and clear. Use the tools-make the tools-bend the tools- and do not worry about the crowds along the side lines of the road race we run- We only sweat and enjoy the Sun's warm rays as we exert for freedom inside of our body- Rather than concern over other's shouts and winning the silly race. Sweat with joy- and do not pay mind to external,passive stressors and expectations. Only your own expectations to experience the fullness of it all now
Peaceout and here is a Public Todo list
An eQuestion from Tanner:
You mention the workload and what you could get done with a full team of animators/artists. Do you think you will get to a point where you could do a project like that?
The hope is to assemble a team to make larger creations; The bottleneck for me right now is my time. That is what gets in the way. In order to be a functioning human being, one must get at least 7 hours of sleep+ Physical activity+ a bit of Leisure time+Social interactions+meals. The rest can technically be dedicated to the craft, if you are also able to make a living from this craft.. regardless, If you neglect the above areas, you will be less likely to apply yourself as fully to that craft. This creates a delicate balance of work. This balance is thrown off when the work consumes the individual out of passion and excitement. But there are consequences. I dont think we should strive to be unhealthy, nor burn the candle too brightly. I think that in order to make better and larger works, We ultimitely have to combine our time pools into a dedicated project. Meaning, the work is spread, as is the time given to tasks on an individual level. The work is spread more evenly. Ideally, the people working together share the passion, so the work speaks loudly from this combined effort. Nothing is lost from taking the control away from the sole individual (in a perfect world).
I do hope to lead or gather a small team some day to make something awesome. To at least experience the work in a setting where collaboration, communication, and teamwork will be key. I like to think it would result in some amazing work.
A running joke among my friends and neighbors IRL is that I will soon be relocating Out west to open up the World 4 Development Studio and that Anyone and Everyone i speak to is welcome to come on board. The best part is that the implementation and proceedings of excecuting the idea is expanded on and taken quite seriously as part of the joke. But deep down, I do dream of it becoming reality. But I would never let that seriousness destroy the joke. So in a way, it is not like I long for this step to occur, but the idea of something like it happening are not so foreign as to take me by surprise or cause apprehension if the opportunity ever arose. This is a very comfortable attittude and approach to the unknown. Make it all 1 big joke til its no longer a joke and it is just how it is. Im not sure if this applies to all areas of life. Im pretty sure this works for getting girlfriend though/
Also you say full video game development will start at a milestone. Does the vision you have for your art lie in Film or Videogames?
The vision and passion lies in film- I see videogames as a challenge to tackle and try my best at. But ultimitely, expression to a viewer is best (imo) expressed through film. Video game can be powerful in a different way. It bounces the expression of the player right back at them. that can be powerful, and this leaves lasting impressions that could hold more weight to the player/viewer, because to them, they have created the imprint of the experience. The feedback loop will imprint their actions and mark them as meaningful, if they are able to find pleasure or wonder in the work itself (immersed). This feedback of player and interface is something not found in film. Sure I can project myself into the film I am watching, and that is powerful. But a game offers a pretty unique way of expression and experience creation. it is something i would like to explore.
rungs of the Railroad Made of my memories
Feb21 21Hell yes man! I have finished the Project!! It has been a long couple of weeks- I have experienced a feeling that is strange- I will do my best to explain my feeling..
When I work on the projects that are my children, my brain children; there is no stress- there is no worry or fear of expectation ,, pleasing others does not factor into the work, The work is made solely to express something I want to express- visualize a thing into existence- Grind away at it until the flower is bloomed- the crops are grown. I challenge myself to do things with skills I have, or have yet to learn and must embark upon the knowledge to get to where I want to be. That challenge is powerful. The obstacles, I feel fortunate to take on. The difficulty is a battle of the mind and you, me , anyone can overcome any pursuit if they face it with honesty and dedication. Honesty to yourself- be real with yourself. Do not make sure to walk at a baby's pace, but also do not take on something much too large to be tackled at all. You must find that balance by trying, failing, repeating, and coming out the other side with perserverence and a will to fail again.
I want the work to be nothing besides the thing it is- I do not want it to stand for something I do not want it to represent something else besides what I made. I just dont care about any B.s.. a lot of times i feel like a stranger in real world,, detached from everything outside my head. like all i care about is inside my head. i do Not mean self relection- kind of like exploring behind the mirror;;;; beyond "me" . beyond "i", there is alleyways tunnels railroad tracks made from memories and experiences and friends, foes, troubles, desires of the past. Things that are not me, but have been collected and packed along for the ride (against my will! no one asked if I wanted to start a memory collection. Now at age 25 it is about the size of a small town's library. someday it will be a large temple). Mix this space, with the ability and the willingness to apply skill to a craft or medium in order to express things.
These thoughts above get me very excited to CREATE things!! And be free while I do so. Free to throw the whole thing in the fire if I so choose. I won't... but i could. and there is no consequence. That is freedom and bliss to me. Makes me at ease to think about.
I been thinking a lot about Westerns lately. But ive never seen any of the classic western films that i hear about. If you have a favorite or 1 you could recommend to me, send me an email please. i dont trust imdb ever since they removed the forums (wtf were they thinking)
the Sun isson 1 Big Tripod
Feb.13 21no good, no bad, there only is - I think about this when I face difficult obstacles. Displeasure is powerful. Before facing the challenges, the over-thinking stage and the hesitation stage- That is the most uncomfortable part for me. But I do find a conquer/conquest type of emotion when I am in that spot and soldier through it despite the apprehension to knowingly dive into discomfort. the displeasure that monks throughout history have endured to find "oneness" is an extreme, but what a trip to imagine
This year I am going to try my very best to avoid using digital screens and displays in my work- The history of cinema and narratives did it without screens used for plot progression. and themes like interfaces and programming can be absolutely applied into the animations of other, non-digital things. That is a bit of the puzzle for me now, though, and feels a bit like "new territory"; one example could be the construction of a large building- from breaking ground for foundation to the glazier installations at the 50th floore. The process could be showcased in a span of 10 or 20 seconds, with the slick, well-oiled tendencies of some of my more polished UI animation. The vehicles unloading the materials, the builders like ants welding and constructing. A crane that lifts heavy material to the incremental floors, wound like clockwork. All the pistons and hammers and lifts dancing like orchestra violinist bows- A construction symphony is how it looks in my mind
In boston we have the big dig tunnel. It was the mission to put the highway over pass underground, and replacing the aboveground land with stretches of park and pedestrian pathway. The project completed in 05 or something, a decade after it began. like a billion+ dollars were spent on the project.... any ways- the tunnels had those orange lights in them, the super saturated and warm lamps that line the interior walls/.. being a kid and feeling a warp tunnel/portal/gate passage feeling when driving through the big dig tunnels (1.5 miles long). i have a collection of very powerful visual memories from the drives through the tunnels. I encourage you to dig through your early memory and find something visually interesting- something with weight- and maybe make a project out of it. Use it as a component to a larger idea, or as its own dedicated piece, or just as inspiration from within. I am finding my amber-lit tunnel drives to be a powerful force in my current visual project and Maybe diving deep into the attic of your mind will help you along somehow too.
Peace out and enjoy the weekend- jack
3:2 Stretched To 16:9 is The True Golden Ratio
Many many talented, smart, and driven individuals will never recieve widespread audience or acclaim.But I hope some day their work will be enjoyed by many eyes or ears. I hope we can have every bit of artwork published to the web archived, for people of the Future to look back on and find beauty, strangeness, wonder, charm,...
Here is a A little problem to solve For the 21st century artist:
The act of Advertising your work is energy taken from the process of Creation. The effort made to network pulls your brain farther away from its unique, isolated mode of individual operation
This is the unfortunate truth. Marketing yourself and your work is exhausting, and a full time job on its own, without even considering the massive time and energy it takes to make the thing. This is a hard truth- to me, at least, it became very clear that I was not going to waste my time with it from the beginning. Any time I tried to share on the web, at the start especially, I felt like I was selling myself out. It felt not-right, Like It would be better that no one knows about my work and it exists on its own- than some dummys who wont even care much about it to give it a internet star point or whatever,, From then on, I decided to NOT do it like that, and only care about getting the work uploaded as an archive for me and friends.
I grew to really enjoy presenting the work to friends and family as I was making it. Reaching an audience is challenging, and is not really a factor for the vids to be successful (i make for me, and anyone who likes them too) . It is exciting to present the work to just my small circle of friends and have a "release" ready for them to watch,,, I want to make them laugh and get excited about the dumb thing
If the work you are making has merit in its quality and purpose, then an audience will form around it. Especially if you are a cool human beingg that knows what is up
I like most about the work, this way, is its freedom to do what it wants. I make what I want to see and what would be cool. I learn the things necessary to see the vision through. And I don't think about where I will market it or who will watch it while doing so. I don;t care about that. I care about learning and practicing whatever it will take to make interesting visual art that I want to see and that I got to project out from within!
The boy, the Dream, the Journey
Are you warm and do you feel safe here? ... . this is blog page 2. the old blog page got too big
Like a detective's bulletin board with all the case files- That gets put into a manilla folder once they apprehend that killer, to be filled again with leads and tangents on a separate but equally important focus.
I have gotten my hands on five new books,,,. Three of them are books on animation- Reading an animator's perspective on core concepts is always a treat/ The other 2 books are Rainbow Six strategy guides. I Love the thumbnail screen shot images that paint each page.
When I was a kid I had the strategy guide for Animal Crossing: Wild World. I loved that guide. The small thumbnails of the game were very saturated from the color printing on the magazine style glossy pages.... It was like I was playing the game when looking through the guide some times. Like it made me happy and relaxed, as did the game. I would wake up at 5 AM before school and play for 2 hours;
I don;t play many video games these days but I am interested in creating one. I have a lot of creations, but a game will require me to make many of the creations from scratch; which is okay, but I understand the large scope involved and I have to clear my calender before serious work begins. In all of my work now, since making the initial demo, I create models as if I had to bring them into a game engine- I am mostly speaking about the texture work; I will create a 1024x1024 "atlas" of all the textures I need for a prop or environment, with modifications for specific use-case-and then use that large image canvas as a single material rather than having 17 different materials, each with their own image texture. This is a best practice workflow, and I have grown to like it more than my old way (which was horribly unorganized, and has led to many blend files with missing texture data)
I have one large animation project at the moment that is occupying my focus,. and I have recently grown to enjoy this 1. And then a smaller project that I am chipping away at/ then I have my personal project too. But everything I make, I have to bring it close to my core or else I will be miserable. External work is good, but I am pretty upfront with the other party like hey,,, if we are going to make something, Im gona go silent for a few weeks while I work and expand the idea in my head and output as I go. Things take on a mind of their own- it is a flow state I am quite fond of, but it requires me to focus on very little besides the task at hand/ It is a quick thinking, shotgun interpretation, solution-churning, leap frog idea interpretive dance as I chip away at the rock face of work.
Planning your attack and strategy guide is critical for this to work though- Because in order for the on-the-fly changes to work, you first need a solid framework to bend and melt. If the concept was not laid out, creating meaningful gear shifts is not as dynamic or easy. without the base, more "random", less cohesive , which is Okay, but not what I aim for. I like to warp transform my existing ideas. cohesion embedded in the warping. And you can;'t really do that if you dont have the idea yet
I look forward to the future; I am thankful for all human brain power. I think it is good that we have brains