1/14/2020 its crazy , the links and connections,, memories and moments and emotions and feelings . individual experience. that can be conjured through action- there is always road ahead to travel and explore. That is exciting and motivating to me. That is 1 way I get myself to do things. Realizing the road is not ending in either direction so might as well walk and dont think to deeply whether walking is good or bad or right or wrong. did i mention on here (cant remember) new footbag kick marathon record. 111 is the new PR. One Hundred And Eleven kicks ; now Rocker thats what's up I'm a bit SWAMPED with projects at the moment. Got to remember to breathe and chip away at the work with logic and health. Healthy body mind soul vision clarity charm and disposition ,, these all connect into one sphere (probably) not a hippy so really cant say for sertain on this AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
	1/10/2021 Sunday- New week will begin Shortly - remember to make your bed each morning for good luck
	1/7/2021      The goal is nothing but the quest. I don’t have an end game and I don’t know where I can see myself in 5 years from now. I hope I get to make wide reaching things that other human can latch and identify with. Like chain Links I want the work to connect to other humans      My pops is a magician, - I have grown up with the idea of a good performance being something that defies expectation and creates awe, wonder, curiosity, interest. Deny the explanation- Because it is part of the experience to be left wanting more. I have never learned a single magic trick - but I now realize the greatness in the spectacle, and many of the qualities I value in my work, or works of any kind , come from that art form. Love you dad     What does a producer do? Asking because, what role would a producer play in what I want to do? Am I a producer? Does a producer have money? All very confusing. Maybe someone who has attended a film making uni could enlighten me. Because I need to know how it would relate to my weirdo situation     Excited to get story boarding shots on the next leg of this story. It is loosely pieced in my head, but this time I will spend great detail on story board panels to save myself CGI-camera- Hell (I burned in that hellfire on this last vid) Every single time I have headaches it is because I neglect the story board    Pretty soon I will be Ready to start shooting the next leg of my movie picture      Load the 35mm Fool lets shoot-      hold up I gota storyboard 1st!
	1/Jan ,21 Crazy Loud Yeah Boi Yet       Search is on for peaceful mind and a safe place to rest. all good all bad all the same at the end, because each day is like the 1 before and the 1 next. So all we can do is look ahead and do not dwell or become distracted by the thoughts and surroundings that distract from what is important- Your Friends, Your Mission, Your Dreams, Your Loves, Your Hopes, Your Goals, and Your Sanity.       Any thoughtful quest is Good.        Even if you never collect on your autumn harvest; the path you took to grow the plants was enough of the reward, No?         Does life require tangible reward to be meaningful?       I have come into contact with so many kind and skilled individuals this year, maybe moreso than any other year of my life. I think it is life changing; to show another person friendliness and appreciation for a thing that they do, it does exponential for the mind, both ways. the kindness, In a good way, not in a Ego inflating way. Maybe it could become that. I do fear ego, sometimes. most days i do not express much of an ego. but people change over time and you notice it in others, but it is hard to perceive that gradual change       Sometimes I feel like I will always be an audience member of the world- rather than a participant            But this is okay, for you and I       The lizard on the redrocks with a piano playing in the middle of Nowhere       This year I want you and me,, to dream HUGE. That way, we can see what we can really be capable of, if we set our mind and action to it =) I believe in you if you believe in me. this wont be easy-- IT Never IS !!!!  (GOOD CUZ I PREFER IT THAT WAY) MAJOR PEACE OUT #1 jjack
	12/17/20      Catch myself over thinking the large details, so I am left at a stand-off with the small details, not wanting to start or move forward with the micro attention that I like to do, because I have created the brain traffic jam. I have just made myself a crossing guard and I have fixed the traffic jam for now. I know what must be animated and how I will do it- Need to continue story boarding, and begin work on a small external project I have taken under my wing . That will be fun, I am certain. Just to escape the focus Lately, which is growing wearisome on my mind. It just weighs heavily- I am not sick of it. The weight of the infant idea , sometimes there is growing pains with the idea. Other times it is seamless      It snowed a lot last night, and today- over 1 foot. Maybe 1.5 feet   . I saw a kid about 4 or 5 trying to conquer the relatively enormous snowdrifts. He was drowning in that snow pile. I have faded memories of being somewhere close to his age- looking over the threshold of snow that surrounded me almost completely- similar to what that kid experienced earlier today, I bet        I wonder if he will remember this day and this snow as I remember the snow memory in my head. And if a person saw me that day when I was a child- Do they remember it? Most likely not.      This reminds me of the idea I have where when you die- you get to sit in a movie theater and watch a slideshow of all of the pictures and videos where you are the unwilling and unknowing participant. Like being in the background of a vacation photo. That would be a completely strange experience, I am sure   11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111   New 1 creative devotion, channeled through bizarre and questionable modes of transport that is what i like and what I love me an you are gona make tsunami;s if we can say hello to fear and walk on By if not, we will remain static and unborn does the two thousand and ten creative individual dream of working for Warner Brothers, vs. Machinima? Dreamworks, vs. Failblog? I cannot say In two thousand in ten, I was 15 years old and I was in love with digital video Now i want to make big pictures and i dont care I love digital resolution (big and small) 12/12/2020 12/5/2020      One of the hard truths of working on a solo project of scale is that some of the vision must be compromised in order to make progress,. I have found that these compromises are not always bad- Sometimes the limitations lead to breakthroughs and new ideas- or humor. Because of a constraint on the task- new pathways are made.      I will begin animation on the latest project once I am ready to- for now, I continue to build sets, I build props, I build mechanisms and quality of life improvements for my workflow. The story I have planned is somewhat daunting, but my work so far is promising and I must not let the scope consume my positivity. Some times it feels crushing, to know how much work is ahead of me. But realistically, If I were to start character animation this week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then Friday; and set a goal of 2 shots completed per day minimum, that is not bad at all. And it really depends on the flow. Some days I will render 14 shots. Other days, the fine tuning and camera motions of 1 shot can take me an entire day.         It ultimately comes down to how concrete the visual ideas are in my mind’s eye. And this comes back to the storyboards: they are CRITICAL. I don’t care if you think you suck at drawing and you feel bad about the way the panels come out. NO ONE will need to see the storyboard besides you. Like some days my drawing skills suffer- especially if I have been working mostly on the PC for a bit, doing the pen and paper dance is like a foreign object for a bit of time. But then it comes back and Im ontop of it      I am wondering too if I am over-preparing for the animation stage of this particular project- I think I just need to dive in soon (this week) and start getting shots rendered onto my timeline. Cuz then at least I can find out what is missing and if anything needs to be completely reworked. Sometimes it all just comes together beautifully and I thank thee lord         Do  I feel lost sometimes? I do, yes sometimes feel very confused . About what I am making and my path ahead of me.       Do I fear the unknown? Yes I do sometimes. But I cannot let that consume me and I will not let it stop  me from trying. The fear of uncertainty is a good thing to keep you on your toes and make things exciting, as long as you face it and defeat it in this temporary battle. The war on unknown will never end however. We will never know the future and the best course is to take on challenges with joy and a positive and strong attitude. You will be better off with this mindset. It is a conscious choice to be bold with actions and dedication. Discipline with your work comes from within, first. External factors do play a role, but it can be like swimming against the current if you do not first self-impose the work ethic.        I wish I could say that there was an easy way to make the videos I like to make. I wish there was a way to show every1 how to do it too. But the truth is that it is mostly just a maddening amount of time and effort crammed into an idea, executed in a style without compromise. Meaning, if something requires mind-numbing amount of care to achieve, and I want it that way, then I will toil. And some times it is not fun but this is what separates the boys from the men ( an expression I say to myself quite often. This could work even if you are a girl too; its just an expression and I don’t look too deeply into it.. It just helps me accomplish my goals when the work required is quite tedious)        Even the tedious work, I can enjoy occasionally. Because I know it will be worth it to see the final product.         Videopix cgi film has some pacing issues of course- This next video series/film will be cut with this thought in mind. Peace- Jack                                                                                                                   11-21-2020 Lucidity       It was the weirdest thing -- last night before I settled in to get to sleep I almost grabbed a notebook and pen to bring with me to bedside just in case i woke up and had an idea or something to quickly write it down -- i decided no im not going to get the paper and pen i doubt ill end up using it. Next thing i kno im watching G gundam dozing away into sleepmode and im like HOLY shit .       the ideas ive had, the narrative and visual concepts ive been pushing and pulling with these last several weeks all start CLICKING together like a symphony man. It was pure ecstasy man. I jumped up and grabbed my note book and started pouring pages writing until my hand hurt ,, finally able to weave the clumped mess of thoughts together. Integration! Clarity!       I've been working very hard on this next project, but it has been behind the scenes work. CG toil. rigs, models, sets, props, compositions, character textures; and still wasn't quite sure how to go about the actual presentation or structure. I had some passing ideas, a very very loose plan. But last night, in that notebook (it was a mini vest sized composition notebook) between You and ME Something amazing happened: https://youtu.be/WSmSIPHSTXQ And now I can talk to ANIMALS Knowledge Finding      If you think you feel stuck or in a creative rut- Pick up some books at the library or thrift store and read them. It will not be a waste of your time, I have proven to myself 1000 times that it will never be a waste of the time. It will flood your mind with new thought patterns. I think part of it, is because a real book is very physical. But it allows you to step outside yourself for a time, while still having tactile sensation. this brain mode i find helpful to spur new ideas and connections, without even having to try very hard. If you work mostly at the PC, it helps to have a couple coffee table type books sitting on or beside your desk. So when you feel burnt or tired of what youre doing, looking through those types of books will bring on some new inspiration. This works for me at least, even if ive read all the pages and know what is inside. Computer KeyBoard Suggestions?      Can any1 recommend me a good mechanical keyboard? Email me at jack1human@gmail.com I like my shit to sound like a toy. Loud ass clacks. Very clicky and full switches. I know I like Cherry red style keycaps. I think i currently have blue and I am not the biggest fan. Full sized (num pad) required. For those shortcuts mon. got to be quick. I dont care about lighting. I like to work with my room lights on all the time. I dont do well when its dark (for work). I like the dark. Just not while Im working. cuz i will often use paper while working on pc for sketching or notes to self./ Thanks any1 who can help. Rejecting Surface Polish and the Status Quo      Taking high effort, skilled work, and packing it into simplified structure of conveyance. The creator should not fear to strip down the work to its bones if the message and meaning can still be thoughtfully conveyed. The individual should be able to meaningfully implement and energize their ideas, without toiling for a lifetime, or requiring a small army of others, to do so.      Within our lifetime, these tides will turn in the mainstream- life-imitating CGI will be seen as tacky and false. True beauty will embrace the technology without seeking a finish line of hyperreal .      There is power in creative effort, no matter the surface. Polish of the surface has become a cheap trick in an age of creation where things are designed to look beautiful- when this is the case, nothing has beauty. Introspection, followed by iteration; Beauty is grown outward from the creations' core - Convert the brain motor action into thoughtful action. Have true belief in yourself and your thoughts. If you do not believe in yourself, Research more things to solidify who you are, what you believe, what is beautiful; what is good to you, what is not good to you. Take note of the things you do and do not like. Flex your head until your brain is strong. Push your limits. Shoot for the stars.      Take on a project far beyond your skill level. You will progress exponentially. But ONLY if your visual crosshair is cemented in place. No wavering or you may soon find yourself lost. Believe in yourself and what you want to create.      Do not worry about impressing others- only aim to impress yourself and exceed limitations imposed by yourself or others. Break boundaries, rules get thrown around far too often to pay any serious attention.      Conventions of a medium exist to be warped and played with. The names we remember are those that chose to break free from conformity. Others may find you insufferable and bizarre- but remember what you are doing, what you wish to become. What you hope to someday achieve. There is no end- it is an infinite series of springboards that progress successive creation. Mind projection rendered faithfully into physicality. Follow logical steps to reach that vision. RIGGING THIS FISH WAS A MISTAKE - I OFTEN WISH I NEVER WENT AHEAD TO RIG THIS BASS. I TOLD MYSELF THAT THE WAVE MODIFIER WAS A HALF ASS METHOD. I WOULD NOT BLINDLY USE THE WAVE MODIFIER ON THE SEA BASS. IT TURNS OUT ANIMATING A FISH POSE TO POSE  IS REALLY DIFFICULT. IT TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS TO BLOCK OUT A SKETCHY LOOKING SWIM CYCLE. FISH HAVE TINY BRAINS. THIS WAS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE AT ALL.  Log World 2 Today, I feel calm positivity toward the project, and the pace of life and expectation. It has been Ups and downs this past couple weeks - For a day or two I felt very lost- I felt in over my head. I felt unsure of myself, I felt defeated and I felt incapable. I spoke with my mom on the phone that day- which I realized was her birthday, later that week, followed by a phone call apologizing for not realizing it at the time. She knows my brain is in other places sometimes though so she was not upset and was thankful that we spoke on the phone for awhile on that day. Then i told her how I was feeling and she helped me sort through the thoughts and bring my head up above water. The phone call really helped me sort my thoughts, and size up the fears I was facing A lot of the fears and stress I impose I AM THEORIZING stem from a grown expectation to present and post things, work and progress, etc. here is what i think: people that post more about the stages of creation put less thought into the actual final full thing. It has to be that way. Cuz whenever I try and post some intermediary thing, my brain always "loses its place" and confused by the validation recieved from others, straying me further from the path of completion. Like my brain gets a bit tricked by the temporary satisfaction, which disincentivises following through with everything. It also opens up the door further for second guessing and not just going with the gut mind on things. Which is important. The solo decision making process that happens internally. It can be like a little orchestra sometimes where mind goes back and forth for a bit and then a strange new solution or idea appears from no where and you laugh to yourself and choose that odd solution full steam ahead. This happens to me a lot. The more I invite others into my creative space or process, I find that spontaneity happens less. The end of video pix isn't really the total end- videopix serves as a creative tool for me. I do want to wrap this ARK up Nice for every1 who keeps up. The next story beat is gona be fucking sick though. I will set the stage nicely for further flesh. Also thinking I might sell out soon. Jump ship an start working for Warner Brothers  Just kiding Videopix should be done by Tuesday peace 10/25/20 10/14/20 Dude I bought a new keyboard but it is not clicky enough,, So I swapped back to my old keyboard ,,, I feel dumb but it is ok,,,,  I like both but the ultra clicky is very tactile and satisfying to work with. I have still not learned how to properly deal with the irrational disappointment I experience when I am not able to finish a project in a single day. These are projects I have created that are the size of Texas. I have created this monster./ These thoughts are irrational. I have dealt with turmoil from these feelings in the past, and have faced the feeling many times. I have grown as a human for overcoming the fear, and allowing my projects to span multiple weeks, months years. Seeing it out. - The realized potential of ideas.   But I think this monster lives in so many great artists.  I am working on accepting these things. Going to bed feeling happy about the work I was able to get done V.S. Feeling down about the long list of incomplete steps. I have dealt with turmoil from these feelings in the past, and I will destroy the feelings and will laugh in the face of fear, So that I can grow I am seeing vidpix 11 coming together before my very eyes! I am confident in my animation- my "par" quality however has risen (self-imposed expectation) so I am doing a couple passes on each shot to nail the character motions and reduce the "dead air" space that some of my scenes in the past have. It is partially due to laziness and haste, partially due to me being unsure of what was needed. The secret spice mixture of LIFE. thats what i was some times missing. I see your motion capture. I see your physics sandbox. I see your A.I. I see your Rotoscope. And I spit on them all. And then take a big hammer and destroy them. And watch as you bounce like a fish on hot cement You say Drake. I say Pearl Jam you say Weed. I say Salvia 40x Discomfort Blend Peace- Jack 4 Jack 10/4/20 BlogPost 01:11 P.M/      User Interface also know as UI. What is the purpose of a user interface? IT IS like the dashboard of the car that allows me to make small adjustments to the car without having to open the hood and touch the engine or electronics myself. The term GUI. Graphical user interfACE. GRAPHICAL is the part I will lean on heavily for my ideas of user interface.        You might think that a GUI would be best built in Gimp, No? Well it turns out- I am slow at the photo programs because I did not use them much when I was a kid. I am fast witha nla video application since I have been using Sony vegas since I was little. So in the past, for GUI, I have used GIMP, Pencil2d, Sony Vegas, and maybe a bit of blender for compositing, depending on the complexity. Itsa fried workflow no doubt But its fine. If I had to go back to those projects though and make adjustments, it would be a headache for sure. I have gotten better at sorting my files and folders but no wherte close to as organized as I would like. And before any of my drives bite the dust, I need to purchase a few TBs of storage to back everything up. Been meaning to do that for a minute now        This seems like a good opportunity to Start fresh with an file organization system that is cleaner, going forward.        Back to the GUI. I can animate the whole thing in Blender, compost it all nicely- yes- BUT I have worked a few days on all the components and it would be nice if I didn’t have to animate the components like- as a proxy user exoperience. I would prefer to implement the design and button and the states of the Gui into a functioning interface. I know I can make this happen with Unity. But I really am not sure if I feel like going down that rabbit hole for this project. The one upside is that I could use the starting framework of that design to potentially squeeze into an actual, playable game sometime down the road. I know there are developers of games that do it all by themselves, and mad respect for it- but the game will either lack in all areas due to the 1mandev being spread too thin, OR the project will take 5 years and leave a bad taste in the mouth by year 2/. A passion project to never see the potential it could have had.        In a perfect world, here is what would happen-: I make the patreon (or whatever platform) month-based, rather than project based I receive enough attention from videopix full release to concievably earn a living from the external support I begin immediete work on the game- A game that people can really sink in and enjoy- something that their continued support would be worth it to them I team up with another party, who would know there way around Unreal or Unity better than I, in order to make the best game possible. I would support this 2nd party with income received from supporters. They would also have stake in the game.        After the game, maybe videopix continues-        End of perfect world thoughts. I am excited to see what the future will hold and I am aware that some things take time and patience. And some things will not go as planned and the world will not go my way. That is alright. I am ready and willing to face the challenges ahead. I encourage challenge- I encourage opposition. Sometimes I seek it, even. I don't know why I am like that. Some times I am hot headed towards others because I am passionate. I try to treat others with the same respect that I expect to be given on a flatline basis.        I hope the GUI I am creating lives up to my imagination Reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal 2 Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel      Winter- I am ready for the cold weather. I like it- I like that cold air on my nose and on my fingers til they cant feel any more.      and you shouldn't build an igloo hut without gloves because your hands will freeze. it has happened to my toes. but i still have my toes. I was 100 percent sure they were going to be needing amputation after spending 1 hour having fun in thee deep snow with sneaks on . inside for 25 minutes and I still had no feeling in my toes.. then it came back eventually. i could live with 1 toe missing (real easy to get a fake 1) so i was not even happy when the feeling arrived back on my door step      I like CGI as much as I like traditional; I never had a playstation growing up- I had a 64 and a game cube. But i have always been a lite gamer. There are like 5 games I really like ever      I really enjoy film and video-  movies, anime, cartoons... All strike me as more interesting to enjoyy than a video game. But sometimes- a game is just what you need- an outlet that has feedback/       I think the low rez cg will outgrow its ps1-retro label soon. hoping so at least call it lowres CG or some thing instead     I have to finish VIDEOPIX now that I have closed up work on the Melodi project for E. I really think the sequence came out nice and I am happy with it all. I am prouud of my work- as artists say (at least i think thy do) He had given me a very detailed breakdown of what his vision was- and I was elated to read it. That is so helpful for me, with external or collaborative work. My brain begins to wander off on different paths during the creative process and I can end up in some strange place versus where I intended to go with the mission. So having a guide map is super important for me, if the work is for something outside of my sphere Mind  If the project is for me- i let that brain wander where it wants. see what comes out the other side       Can I take a plane to a different place even though there is the virus? If i am free of pathogen will they let me in to there border? just for little visit. to see the novel sights and sounds . change of pace from beautiful boston mass ( HOme of the Boston Red Sox and world 4 Jack 4 World Manufacturing Industries) peace 9/28/2020 Sea Monke ySea Monkey Do September 19th 2020           No body knows how to tackle life,, I don't know how to work up the courage to face fears of my own. Moving geo location is one of those fears. I try and pry myself away from the wooden plank habits that have calcified around me during the past 6 months. I realize it is not good to have this box around oneself. But aren't we all creatures of comfort? I experience a feeling of calmness when my routine and daily routine go by smoothly and soundly. So what if the days are boring? is it selfish to leave the periphery unattended? I have my art and my books and my friends around me and my friends worldwide on the web to keep me alive and breathing for fresh breaths of life outside the wormhole of work I tunnel into. I am not worried about becoming a "shutin" . I know I have to finish videopix- I know that once I do, I can explore once again. The phases of creation are in a Sine wave on the graph   I don’t mind being turned on to the computer, I find it liberating. I am always finding new things. New TOOLS., I see potential in the things that lay around me. I like seeing other web users, and I like trying to gather the scope of my wonders and questions. (never ending questions) I like reading Opinions that clash so strongly with my own, makes me laugh and keep perspective on every thing. -jack STUART LITTLE'S LITTLE BROTHER STUART LITTLER My Life Span So Far: September 13 1995 September 13 2020           Age 10 and Age 25- those were cool to me when I was little. it felt good to turn 10 i remember thinking it was just a cool number. was because of Animated TV shows where the main kid was 10. and i probably looked up to them. i dont remember what tv show it was, maybe the show Recess,, or Ash in pokemon,,, not the important part      I am now the second cool number- today I turned 25, and I got up brite and early to finish work on the videopix. skipped my morning coffee even, without any opposition or nagging from my mind. Things can come together beautifully sometimes. videopix 9 kinda crunched me, but i do it to myself/      Im not a fanboy but blender is 1 of the most liberating pieces of software I have ever touched. It makes me excited for this world. I realized this after looking into the grease pencil section of the manual last night. Most creative software suites puts mind into a box of SAME, because the tools lack the fine tuning required to make it your own. So many people's art is withered from these limitations and THEY CANT EVEN SEE IT!!! but you shouldn't diminish people's efforts because of this, this is not their fault- i blame (1) the current washed out state of software, and (2) the education institutions, for purchasing bulk liscences and teaching the kids the wrong stuff because they got a good deal with autodesk or whatever. i never used autodesk software so maybe its cool.       Luckily, even with its Many shortcomings,.  windows 10 is really good at supporting legacy software      i wonder what could be possible with a full team of artists and craftsman working together? even a small team of 3 or 4? I am conscious of other's wishes, and can empathize with others, but I do raise my voice and oppose when something conflicts with my internal standard of quality. like an idea or a concept or even a direction something is going. or the work itself- I will never allow a team or any group effort turn the tides of what I believe should be achieved or worked towards. Sometimes things must be compromised though,. I realize. the compromise comes with other factors in the mix, like time constraints or heirarchy of command I just like to make things my way. with all of the faults and twisted logic decisions. and  ive never really worked alongside a team anyways. so why does it matter jack? go enjoy the remainder of your birthday dude - ok ok good bye and PEACE   making a book  that actually works  is hard But it is worth it Right now I am frustrated. that I am avoiding the thing I dont like the "spine fold" i get when using Shape keys  maybe i am just bad at making properly animated shape keys (something to get better at) basing this rig from an old cgcookie tutorial (what a fried name for a platform. Cgcookie? its this french (?) dude. what were you thinking with that name brother) (why are all the master riggers located in france? is this phenomenon linked to ubisoft?) I need my pages to be double sided--and things are getting clustered and a bit confusing as it is This is going to be another frankenstein monster rig- it always is for the props`- an i wouldnt have it anyother way if it was easy, that would mean it was "templated" and corny looking anyways there is ALWAYS a solution- it just may take some time to figure out. and a lot of the times, the solution is west coast Custom to your brain. I take a 5 kilometer walk (no earbuds) to solve a  problem, hoping it leads me to a solution, whether it be for the original problem, or another brain puzzle i deal with . then i fast walk home to apply the idea before it gets lost... that is the marker of a good day for me - if the walk workx 9/6/2020 9/3/2020      You Vs.       In order to reach a complex goal, one must ONLY think deeply about the incremental steps along the path ahead. The End goal must be thought of VERY sparingly. (!) It is hard for the mind to understand and digest possibility when looking at challenges from the finish line, before you have even started the race. If you are on your own, doing an independent task, it is so important to put on horse blinders and just understand and accomplish the smaller goals that will lead you to the complex finish. The deep thinking and meditation should be put towards fully grasping the stepping stones and leaping to each one confidently and without hesitation If you allow the final goal present in your mind during these incremental stages, The mind begins to create anxieties and fears that run in parallel to the large task. This leads to inaction, and turning to robotic behavior of the every day motions rather than embracing the twisting, coiled headspace of the creator. The fears that accompany the task. Failure, Rejection, Harm, Losing Time,.. These are some of the primal fears. We, as artists, are intelligent enough to overcome these primal fears The more complex the goal, the more necessary this way of seeing becomes. The mind will also play the trick of confirmation before the goal is reached. This will lead to failure, due to inaction. The mind drapes a sheet over the overwhelmingly complex road ahead, then shines the End Flag brightly in your foreground mind space, as if you had manifested it without having to suffer. This is an illusion of the mind, and a quite common (and devious) self-illusion. I have fallen victim to this trick. I have seen others fall victim to this trick. It is important to acknowledge what is happening, and understand how to reverse the thought pattern, while it is taking place. A false conjuration of the desire, existing only within your mind. If all artists fell victim to this conjured success, there would be no works of art, no output of the human mind. It would only exist within. Break,) If we ever gain the power to manifest complete and persistent worlds within ourselves, then we will be able to transcend the physical world. Leave our vessels behind, in exchange for the eternal. That is the true realm of intelligence- existing boldly as everything, yet nothing. Taking baptism in the soup of everything; becoming One with All again. Like we were before we were born a mind, and like we will be once again some day                        9/1/2020    Rendering the first scene;s shots- this project is gona be a large animal i will tackle. But i have been having fun rigging characters to use- i watched The art of Rigging and that got me juiced on making decent rigs, because it actually DOES make life much better with clean control points that do what they are supposed to, so that way my time is not half spent correcting deformations that look like Ass. and now that i know how to do it well, it is a fun process rather than Baby's First Frankenstein Operation Board Game. i had been putting off that practice knowledge, so this is a good thing to get done     I am modeling many objects each night, gives beautiful life to my film sets. Day time is for animating. It is too intense for me to do at night- I get really stuck to my screen to make sure things are working exactly. If you notice errors in my videos, i am painfully aware of the errors. It just sucks my Time Soul so bad to go back and fix the smaller things in the late stage of train ride. It is very difficult to acheive perfect clockwork for me. Some, are more skilled at that.,, MANY i would say, are more likely to care and attend to those details. But it is less important to me. I do think it IS worth trying, however, there is no excuses here. it cant really be a style to submit to the errors. ease of watching- is achieved with flow and tempo (maybe- gota think more about that)  2think  8/30/2020      I always need to think for a few days after I release a video pix. 1 because my brain is worked. 2 because I need to sort my thoughts. 3 because every1 needs a little time for peace. But once I get through a book or work on things beside videopix for a bit of time then I start getting the ideas again they start flowing in like foot steps bouncing on the music I have in my ear buds up and down squish and squash along and then I get writing in my notebook and get so excited once again to do that 8 mile sprint again. I don’t think I could work on something that had gotten boring to me, like once something does not spark that part of my brain that is curious and excited- it would lose my interest       So videopix some times confuses me because it treats me very well, as a way to express myself. If I ever feel confined by the narrative, I get refreshed with new ways to tell the story I want to tell, new ways to visualize the world that I want you to be spectator. And small decisions in an episode that had little thought at the time some times turn into major stepping stones for my brain to leap from onto the next lily pad. And that is exciting that I am able to find that joy out of making it all       1 thing I want to focus on- in moderation- is spectacular animation quality. Sense of speed- inertia, flow, ryhthem. When I make the things, I take great care to make sure the animation looks good. But I want to excel, and grow with it. But it cant start looking canned like so much CG animation. My style is messy. But It can be a tightly wound mess of wire at least.       Manufacture has begun on the physical release… im not sure when the cutoff should be however, When exactly should the master edit be compiled. Episode 12? That’s a few months away…. Its something to thinkabout.   2 book recs: both hesse: Siddhartha Narcissus and Goldmund first book, That book rules. Second book takes forever to get good but I like the world it is set in. the setting and themes it inspires me.         I have two copies of Stephen king :The girl who loved tom gordon And both are being used to level the legs of my desk Lol. I havent read that book. I do like stephen king        Running into a bit of trouble with new website, specifically the blog. I am unsure how to go about the blog. I just update the html directly for this current blog. But I don’t want it to be static. Might just have to settle for this exact style blog basically embedded into some of the framework ive been working on. Novice here don’t rash        I am happy about the flow of things currently but my neighborhood is getting reeeeaaal old lately… it is tiring to see for so many months the same places.      It is a beautiful place but, everything wears after awhile Peace and love- autumn will bring a bit of fresh air jack 8/18/2020    the technical hurdle breakthroughs,,,,,,,,, that is why i like video and Cgi and any motion video pixures for real. things are like puzzles to solve, and there are tons of ways to go about the task.  With the style-less solutions being the easiest, and the style-max options being the most challenging and time consuming. it always proves worthwhile to take the tediuous mind numbing route for a final look that makes you happy. that is also how new things are made- new techniques and flows. novel visual experience. and also i know this will be a really dope videopix, this next 1.   i know i keep saying this but after i finish pt 9 i think i will wrap the "film" into a single container, rather than episodic viewing. Make some thumbdrive copies- new age media packaging >=) sit tight bc the Vegetables need a bit more Time roasting in the Oven. and then we will feast. On delicious videopix   ive been recording some behind the scenes stuff, which is a lot of fun to look back on the project files- but man my voice sounds cruusty on my webcam. this is actually a cool webcam though. it is a tube shape and is a bit older. i do all the voices with the webcam mic and its buutter for that   i bought some gashwankana or whatever that bottle is called. the herbal stress supplement. i get in my head some times. gonatry it out. shout out to hole food market no im not a prime member fool   Here is my 2hour-ps2 ambient menu music mix upload. that i use to work diligently. and think clearly.... it is mp3 so you can load on your Zune 16gb and unplug from the web for a hour. ANd now you can do that too https://mega.nz/file/DqYFRQjQ#BE3EvXPw2Ml_tz3Zhsxxoc489jOmOE4dy0dxZrpFlOc Demo1: Demo 1 Download (mega Link) thing is held together with shoe goo ur gona need to wintab out or ctrl alt delete eject button to exit the game window duno how to script ui trying to understand unity engine makes me feel insane blender is a much  cozier software before bringing my meshes into unity : 8/6/2020 A bee stung my hand this afternoon   as a kid , a bee flew into my mouth and stung the inside of my cheek.  x man origins  Insects used to confuse me . still kind of a trip. i used to hunt dragon flys that was funmakinga little dragonfly farm. Little dragon fly farmer   I have the "dog days" summer time Blues my gangsters. Feeling a bit deflated  world- But that’s ok- if we felt happy and juiced all the time- it would all feel flat,   Physical movement is good for these feelings but we all must rest too   any1 else's house shake at night? mine shakes and keeps me from falling asleep some times. Stupid ass house   photoshop's content aware delete fill was the last thing that made me say <wow!>   cuz its just that good. clever soft ware Eye Strain 7/7/2020 THIS IS A BIG WAVE TO EVERY 1 WHO HANGS OUT. BIG ARC , FRIENDLY WAVE -=) I found that neocities gives a analytics page for my site. It shows me site hit counts on a graph; so thanks neocities and thank YOU buds over air wave I would like to tell you guys straight up im going to chop most of my post from 3 days ago----- . I just got worked up because maybe some times I feel left out or excluded from things. The truth is- I am the one who completely excludes myself- not my friends doing it to me. they are good humans. i search deep down and pull the real emotion out of that well. Quarantine makes it harder to escape from those types of situations, the brain playing tricks on my emotions, which would allow it to not bottle up inside me and become anger or sadness twisted towards others/. My friends, roommates, are all kind, caring, and inclusive people and they dont care nor should i care what they or I do or dont do. That was dumb of me to look down on any1 else. sorry guys,,,, (sending telepathically- prettysure they dont read this. i see them and talk to them every day). and i gota check myself on that type of stream of thought. cuz i duno. its just dumb to be a baby about shit. Radar: Scan some of my physical drawings this week- just mix it in with the blog ,,Yea that would be good. need to work on this section of the site too, maybe have page # at the bottom so you can kinda navigate. Like 10 posts per page. gota be careful though- blog sites i sometimes visit have that chronological date NAV on the side bar that overwhelms the f out of me. i end up looking at LESS because it is all tucked away in such away that makes it hard to explore. My blog is pretty hard to explore i am sure too. but lets turn that into organized chaos ? Peace+1 Love  Jack vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 7/6/2020      while making last vid, I got aahead of myself with the pre production. thats alright though and honestly a nice way to go about things. Because it sets me up nice for the next part of the proj, with the pieces that i didnt have time to use in the release.      Okay now a Realistic perspective: modeling, texturing, designing, and lighting A Forest is a mad difficult task when you get to the bottom of things. When you are in the woods, on the ground, at eye level, high above you, in the distance, what do you see exactly>> Dense amount of organic material......now walk 300 meters to your left. A totally DIFFERENT SET OF DENSE ORGANIC MATERIAL.. There is no easy way that I know of to make that space, with my style . yea yea maybe you got your fancy woods generator add on that you use to get cucked on art station ,,, thats not my Jam rock star --- i do it my way or the hi way. and i think my way will be by being smart about it and just making sure i am not over extending myself creating the forest, but still paying close attention to the detail required for a convincing space         thats building the set..thats the 1st tackle. next i got my dudes moving through it. for me, that is the more difficult piece of the puzzle. Since they are moving dynamically through non planar space, it May involve a *uck ton of tedious hours moving pose to pose or tweaking a walk cycle along a path to grab ANYTHING CLOSE to believable movement. That is hard as fuck!!!!! Mostly because of the raw Time investment. This is crazy jack I said, But thats my shittt i said after     And also, i said after those 2 things : there must be an easier way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .     A challenge... I must accept.... Or I will never learn and grow.      Last month, the major output was the video composting, the audio, the traditional (digital) animation... All fun stuff for me- But behind the scenes I was struggling with the best method to take down the animal a.k.a. the forest interior.      The story has been written since day 1 here- the vision, I got that. The tools; i gotthat. the drive i gottttthhhaaaaatttt. But the SKILLS: do i possess the skills necessary to make a good forest interior.? The skills are being grown... in that green house      Last nite i had a big break through with a fresh project file for an interior shot- it produced 3 separate scene structures, 2 of which still need closer attention and details added. But the process i came up with is nice enough that i will be able to apply it to other scenes. Then i gota think/story tile how i will shoot my scenes, and things start to appear easier to manage in the rearview if 2 characters are walking and talking... Most of the shots can be Close ups. Very few medium shots will be required. I will bounce from close up, xtreme close up, Long shots, and xtreme long shots. Maybe tap a medium shot in a pan for transitionary purposes but never on a hold. That way.... I can Fake a lot of it till i make a lot of it      short cuts are necessary and pay off in the end with the time it allows me to focus on the animation. The animation of it all is what I really enjoy and like to direct my attention on. I am starting to care a lot about tempo too;; the pacing; the structure, whatever you call it ,,,,      But . everything else has to be wicked too . or else i wouldnt be happy with it. I am not a perfectionist but i gota tackle visions with the best of my abilities. if i dont at least give it my all then im just a sucker...       I am hoping to come across a clean solution to a texture effect puzzle i have set for myself during this whole forest planning process. I know what I want the effect to look like- but i am still figuring the best possible tool on my toolbelt to make it worth the effort      today, the weather is beautiful. There is a breeze comin in to my bedroom window as I type this. The sun shines and I am relaxed. This is very much a nice feeling When I think of versus how I am in my head during the late stages of a vidd. I would say that feeling is semi manic, inwardly. obsessive and slightly worried it will never reach the final stage. So I work like mad jumping to the necessary steps to finish it so I can be calm again    I like the cycle of work. I  like relaxation once in awhile though too-.but , i like to stay on my toes peac3 7/4/2020         -retracted thoughts- -change of heart-        Every1s journey is unique I have to remember, remind myself that fact... my body is my minds temple. please You will not disturb the temple!      i always catch myself blocking forward momentum in my projects because I am Scared of technical failure- Not to be confused with artistic failure- I am confident in the things I make. Even if they fail artistically- the journey making the thing is stilldope its the Technical failure that is scary- My work flow is like..... imagine constructing a human sized escalator out of lincoln logs...... yeah some thing like that. Half the time i am unsure if half the things will even work by the time I get to stage X in the process, let alone be cohesive at all. Cue a day or several of brain bouncing the stupid idea all for a stylistic decision Ive got to get right that wont matter to 99% of people watching. BUT... that is where the hidden Soul (tm) is packaged i think. I think most of the CG things we see today are pretty much glued together with popsicle sticks and elmers glue contraption- or at least that is my perspective from where my work flow stands. A lot of solutions are work arounds and tricks- and thats just the way it goes baby 6/22 6/20/2020 cleverness: is a holy trait in the realm of progress. technical "work arounds" to hard problems we are faced with.- a situation that requires clever solutions.. Like the man from jurrasic park said 'clevaa girll'.... about the raptor. it surprises others- in unexpected ways. Inventiveness; ingenuity,,,,, mad important,... big brain sh*t . game idea: Hookah Lounge Simulator 2020 footbags keep breaking ,,. the stitching blows out excited to start animating my characters for this next 1. hi production value is my motto for this 1 =) p3eace- JACK 6/17/2020     There are so many ways to grow. Mastering all artform=impossible. Art is endless; greater than you me and any human life. That is why it is powerful even if it seems silly- it is the only thing worth doing because nothing matters. it is the greatest legacy you coul;d ever leave. because creation is special. mind creation is extra special/ use the godspark now or lose it- it truly is up to you. and that is beauty freedom of mind in action =) On a side note- fuck the beetles (band)      Experimental films are cool- some times hard to watch, my mind wanders... I hhave thought a lot about novel experimentation with  traditional 2d animation. A lot of existing examples are trash, from the 60 70 80s. some is good. But often i notice: the beuaty in mastery of craft was thrown out the window in favor of an experimental wild implementation instead. Theres gotta be a balance.... If the movement sucks to watch, hurts the eyes, then i dont care how far from mars your ideas are... you gota bring the screen nectar along with the fried ideaa../     Science, technology, math help us understand the domain Help us to grasp the chaos. But they do not lead to inner truth of the chaos realm. They are best-guesses at the nature of things. Is mathematics found, or is it created? I am not sure-. Does vegetation need mathematics to be the supreme life form? Present on earth rock for eons. the vegetation time scale is stretched far beyond our little human time scale. Mother Gaia=Ancient Plant Life. The elders of the earth rock. Do not see, they do not hear, they do not care. Letting it all occur--THAT is intelligent 6/11/20 Guna make a forest off the hiway- I paintedd my bicycle in real life. It looks good now. also changed the head set because my other 1 was cracked (deadly) Video graphics for Fiske, Matt and Eustis remain- everyone else is completed. Made a dope thrasher intro that im really proud of - cant wait for everyone to see it soon. I think nick is doing a sicky job on the video as a whole- i am happy to add value. It is a rainy day finally- I think i am gona move to Antarctica. if i had an indoor skate park insulated under ground with a missle silo home and internet access and my stuff i have now. i would be set for life baby 6/6/2020           I have finished my project!!!! I am happy. I am planning on stitching all 6 parts together into a single video, in order to PREMIERE it to friends on a projector screen with popped corn and chairs. I think it will run between 10-12 minutes after trimming some fat and adding in a few deleted scenes that I left on the chopping blok. I think that qualifies as a short film.... Perhaps I will give sun dance a run for their money //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////                                ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////   What's next Jack? they asked. i will be boarding a large clipper ship this afternoon ,to embark on a  spiritual journey in Shenzhen, China. Once there,I will spec out the processer and VRAMcomponents needed to begin production on the VideoPix Player prototype model. sso just Look forward to that Peace-jack 5/31/2020 Apple iVisited  an abandoned gelatin manufacturing plant yesterday. Large pipes, running in intricate networks spanned the complex. Leading to and originating from giant silo tanks with chemical labels on the sides. A massive building with vats for mixing the gelatin and chemicals. Everything was over grown and eroding.... Very cool sights, but the oddest part was the absence of grafitti. Place was untouched. This stood out to me so much because for the majority of abandoned locations where I am, they all have a coat of the typical grafitti playground all over the walls and surfaces. Hopefully you can picture what I am talking about. This gelatin plant has been abandoned since the late 90s though. It was so odd. Great experience. A friendly email in my mailbox yesterday, dropped by to say hello and share their latest video. This video was wicked and left me feeling great about the state of "the independent creator". I have more words for that thought, that I will type out this week. But for now, here is the video that was shared to me, it is worth the watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H34uLnuQbNQ Tomorrow is monday and also the first of the month. no prob peace. Jack 5/27/20 beautiful sun shines into my bedroom this morning         Dived in on pt 4,5 several days ago and i feel emotionally heavy towards this leg of the project. i have a feeling like things are coming to a close- this section of my story is wrapping up. i feel attachment to this story. i have shared my head with these characters, these spaces. built this world and i dont want to leave it growth is important. burdens and challenges are tests for growth. hardship, fear of unknown, frustration- all building blocks of learning things and pushing yourself Whatever I end up pursuing, just know it will be hitter after hitter. cuz im growing up and idont care note to self:::: Always make the story board first thing. helps so much with brain clutter during project (ive mentioned this on the blog previously but i keep on forgetting every other project) second note to self:::: I animate at my best after a night of bad sleep. I will feel crappy and worn down in my flesh but my brain fires on weird alien cylinders that add a lot of life to the physical movements during a straight ahead on a sequ. I should limit this hack because it is bad for my health. maybe limited too 1nce or 2ce per proj? 5/25/20 I am thankful for all of the kind folk; the curious folk, the creative folk, the REFRESHING folk. I will Keep my eyes ahead. Pursue friendship with those that think for themselves, those that harvest unique visions. Those that pour their precious time and energy into stamping their fingerprints, not for fame, or any other motive, but for a confusing drive of what can be possible, and can be done. The nature of the internet makes me question things some times. The high-speed spread of ideas on social medias shows the virus qualities in humans. Is this good, or bad? Both, but there's got to be a way to use the velocity of spread to better advantage. I think social media as it exists is regression in what the net should be capable of, in terms of bringing creation to life. It is like the stone age of what SHOULD be here and available. We are jipped by the design of smart phones. They all have the same functional design that allows for certain things to be done very well- but many paths of interactivity are therefore blocked by that design sense. Note: I am working on organizing a low-resolution Texture pack for those hoping to dive into the crusty 3D realm. It will help many new 3D artists, I hope. thanks to everyone who shows love, interest, and support. You are special to me -PEoce out, JACK 5/23/2020 Part 4.5 will need to be next. I wish I could have tied things up in pt 4 but I was overwhelmed a bit with the scale. 2d animation VS 3d animation, in a cage match boxing... the 2d animation takes way longer to get ready. Does the make up and stands in front of the mirror for an hour type shit. The 3d is like splashes water on his face and ties strings to his arms and legs and then walks out the door I will take a little time to think and plan I need to organize my FILES but I am AVOIDING IT because it is TEDIOUS JUST DO IT JACK (NIKE) and yeah i forgot the tires so f***********king what sketchball2 its alrite babe.... dont cry.........because i just realized some thing... i love world 4.... yyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah dispatch come in dispatch- the monkeys have left the barrel i repeat the monkeys have left the barrel. Requesting all units- clown car shot north on beachway I have 2 patreon supporters- 2 more and I will ba able to buy a jet ski that I have been eyeing in the window of the bass professional shops. That Jet Ski Is The Apple Of My Eye........ 05/14/2020     Next week will bring lots of rain which will keep me inside doing the work diligently. The beautiful weather has been taking some of my focus away from my desk. At least we're still in quarantine....     I am really thankful for this whole thing. I am grateful to be able to focus my attention. I am thankful for a lot of things. I know it might sound selfish to say I am thankful for the current health crisis, But I am mad happy about the time I have to get this work done, and escape from the grind and dive into my preferred grind. images: May 11 2020     Got some animation work done this morning- I might move my desk somewhere else while it rains     A squirrel was trying to get in my room earlier we had a stare down and I broke first. Because dude- what the fuck are you doing?! im banging on the window right where he is posted up like spiderman and he';s not even flinching. I was yelling at him and he wouldn't move. Maybe he had good intentions?     I saw a mom squirrel teach a baby squirrel how to leap across branches the other day. It was a beautiful scene. The baby was a total chicken and wouldn't jump across and the mom just kept jumping back, nudging the young gun, then leaping, and repeating it to show how its done. Mad cute     Here is some concept sketch for what I want the characters to look like in their 2d animated state. While in the car driving, at least.     I have to study guns a bit. Guns and cars- just guy shit (study time bitch) I have trouble moving a gun around in my head. Same with autos. The perspective doesnt match what it should. Re train my brain May 8th 2020 A lot of artists are competing with third world wages in the spaces I find myself in- I don't necessarily enjoy doing the grunt work on my own projects- the tedious, time-consuming, mind-numbing aspects that are repetitive and boring- BUT, I find a voice in my head reassuring me that it is all worth it for what you will eventually have realized through this hard work- A completed project that is my vision, my baby, something that is wholly mine and that I slaved over like a farmer and his crop. And this is an interpersonal feeling, a tug-of-war game, but I believe the passion I have spills out to the viewer. Communicating an obsession The drive that pushes me through- I don't think money (especially the pennies that most artists are thrown) would ever give me the same carrot on the stick that the raw pursuit of creation gives me. So I don't want to work my way through the rat race to the top, down the typical path. The pay off seems not-worth-it. Working at some dog shit company for years and years hoping youll one day have the chance to express a vision on a larger scale, meanwhile being the monkey at the desk slaving over the background of some scene for a sequence that you know sucks balls. Nor do I want to traverse the tunnel to the bottom and work for the 3rd world chump pay. So I gotta make my own space. and crush the surroundings. so my space stands tall and i can lead a way (not THE way, but a way) May 7th 2020 I am finding it hard to dive in on the next section of the project. I have a large mountain to climb before I can move forward with my vision. It is a stylistic AND technical decision. That's okay, and its okay to take my time with it. I have begun storyboarding large format now. before I used smaller paper. But I am liking the large squares... from experience, Once I have the story board, the process becomes infinitely easier for me to sift through the weeds. I actually might have to restart this one because I have neglected to scribe close detail to camera motions/sweeps I like the idea of creating "design documents" if i am not up to working on the animation that day- it still gets some work done but is "lighter" work. It solidifies my ideas in a neat way so moving forward has a bit more oil. I blew out both of my wrists the other day. So working kind of hurts right now. It has me really bummed out, more than I thought it would. I experience fatigue in my wrists much sooner now from PC use. I am trying to heal them fast. Because it fucking sucks if I am being honest More updates will be coming soon, Thank You for checking out my blog 04-21/2020 Do: Realize that putting massive time and energy into a unique idea- a creation from minds that might be an otherwise passing thought- is one of the most rewarding and powerful pursuits available to human Not the idea pattern we generate directly from media or culture. Rather, the pattern that is difficult to translate to others. the ideas that are intertwined with our stream of consciousness, these ideas manifest with indirect influence from media and culture. Context of that influence is usually clouded, even to our minds. This happens incidentally, because we exist in modern day and are not monks at the top of the mountains Both sleep and waking dreams deserve to be translated to something beyond writing (I don't really enjoy reading written descriptions of these types of thoughts,) I think these videos are part of my quest to find the best medium for this idea of ideas. So far I like what is achievable with the style I have running peace - jack April 18th 2020 I can get used to this How do I achieve a life of creation? I need help from u and you and you and you. everyone gives 1 dollar (on earth) i will have 8 billion dollars. then i should be set for most of my life but i could use a little more so i will just buy money printer for good measure (keep it stored in an apartment building downtown) today i have begun organizing all my pc files and boy is it a lot of stuff to sort throu (the real pain is renaming files and making sure everything i need liquid is liquid enough to draw back on. mostly for blender files that i neglect to pack in the assetts. because im retarded. thats ok these are just secretarial duties while i dream April 7th 2020     having a dream of popularity...gives you a plot of terrible soil to plant anything of value     When you attempt to appeal to millions     You end up with something void of individuality     be yourself make what you wana make or dont Old Entry First: Jack Kradolfer Human if you go through the life labryinth too seriously it will chew you up. Existence is bizarre, but all aspects of it are endlessly valuable. Even the worst things are good things. No good and bad in the universe, only states of on or off. Use the slice of pie you were gifted, your On state, to its fullest. Don't let a damn obstacle get in the way of achieving your dreams. Make it happen buddy, cuz i believe in you 2019 december 12 2019 december 12 New Entry some day i will be able to express vision without chain and i don't mind carrying torch lamp as it burns my hand i feel a stronger push to light the path to a brighter future for creative liberation- visual art unchained and uncompromised  catalogued and made available for everyone to see          fog      3/15/20   2+ weeks of very little progress due to poor idea management. bogged down by the narrative details: always changing in my head and i am a poor writer of anything narrative so when i spit on paper it all became trash. so i tried to wade through the complications, but that could only get me so far; it makes everything more confusing because the goals/final draft become unclear. the answer was having neo just selling thee acid: no bullllllllshiiiiiiiiittttttt jack >=) you  [12/3/19]  can change the world any 1 can fbi OS Operating system called fbi OS. We will all be allowed to use it for FREE in 50 years You cannot wait any longer for fbi OS Here's how to make it First thing Second thing Third thing