its crazy , the links and
connections,, memories and moments and
emotions and feelings . individual
experience. that can be conjured
through action-
there
is always road
ahead to travel and explore. That is
exciting and motivating to me. That
is 1 way I get myself to do things.
Realizing the road is not ending in
either direction so might as well
walk and dont think to deeply
whether walking is good or bad or
right or wrong.
did
i mention on here
(cant remember) new footbag kick
marathon record. 111 is the new PR.
One Hundred And Eleven kicks ; now
Rocker thats what's up
I'm
a bit SWAMPED with
projects at the moment. Got to
remember to breathe and chip away at
the work with logic and health.
Healthy body mind soul vision
clarity charm and disposition ,,
these all connect into one sphere
(probably)
not
a hippy so really
cant say for sertain on this
1/10/2021
Sunday- New week will begin Shortly - remember to
make your bed each morning for good luck
1/7/2021
The
goal is
nothing but the quest. I don’t have an end
game and I don’t know where I can see myself
in 5 years from now. I hope I get to make
wide reaching things that other human can
latch and identify with. Like chain Links I
want the work to connect to other humans
My pops is a
magician, - I have grown up with the idea of
a good performance being something that
defies expectation and creates awe, wonder,
curiosity, interest. Deny the explanation-
Because it is part of the experience to be
left wanting more. I have never learned a
single magic trick - but I now realize the
greatness in the spectacle, and many of the
qualities I value in my work, or works of
any kind , come from that art form. Love you
dad
What does a producer do?
Asking because, what role would a producer
play in what I want to do? Am I a producer?
Does a producer have money? All very
confusing. Maybe someone who has attended a
film making uni could enlighten me. Because
I need to know how it would relate to my
weirdo situation
Excited to get story
boarding shots on the next leg of this
story. It is loosely pieced in my head, but
this time I will spend great detail on story
board panels to save myself CGI-camera- Hell
(I burned in that hellfire on this last vid)
Every single time I have headaches it is
because I neglect the story board
Pretty soon I will be Ready to
start shooting the next leg of my movie
picture
Load the 35mm Fool
lets shoot-
hold up I gota
storyboard 1st!
1/Jan
,21
Crazy Loud Yeah Boi Yet
Search
is on for peaceful mind
and a safe place to rest. all good all bad
all the same at the end, because each day
is like the 1 before and the 1 next. So
all we can do is look ahead and do not
dwell or become distracted by the thoughts
and surroundings that distract from what
is important- Your Friends, Your Mission,
Your Dreams, Your Loves, Your Hopes, Your
Goals, and Your Sanity.
Any
thoughtful quest is Good.
Even
if you never collect on your autumn
harvest; the path you took to grow the
plants was enough of the reward, No?
Does life
require tangible reward to be meaningful?
I have come
into contact with so many kind and skilled
individuals this year, maybe moreso than
any other year of my life. I think it is
life changing; to show another person
friendliness and appreciation for a thing
that they do, it does exponential for the
mind, both ways. the kindness, In a good
way, not in a Ego inflating way. Maybe it
could become that. I do fear ego,
sometimes. most days i do not express much
of an ego. but people change over time and
you notice it in others, but it is hard to
perceive that gradual change
Sometimes I
feel like I will always be an audience
member of the world- rather than a
participant
But
this
is
okay,
for you and I
The lizard
on the redrocks with a piano playing in
the middle of Nowhere
This year I
want you and me,, to dream HUGE. That way,
we can see what we can really be capable
of, if we set our mind and action to it =)
I believe in you if you believe in me.
this wont be easy--
IT Never IS !!!!
(GOOD CUZ I PREFER IT THAT WAY)
MAJOR PEACE OUT #1
jjack
12/17/20
Catch
myself
over
thinking the large details,
so I am left at a stand-off with
the small details, not wanting to
start or move forward with the
micro attention that I like to do,
because I have created the brain
traffic jam. I have just made
myself a crossing guard and I have
fixed the traffic jam for now. I
know what must be animated and how
I will do it- Need to continue
story boarding, and begin work on
a small external project I have
taken under my wing . That will be
fun, I am certain. Just to escape
the focus Lately, which is growing
wearisome on my mind. It just
weighs heavily- I am not sick of
it. The weight of the infant idea
, sometimes there is growing pains
with the idea. Other times it is
seamless
It
snowed
a
lot last night, and today- over
1 foot. Maybe 1.5 feet. I saw a kid about 4 or 5
trying to conquer the relatively
enormous snowdrifts. He was
drowning in that snow pile. I have
faded memories of being somewhere
close to his age- looking over the
threshold of snow that surrounded
me almost completely- similar to
what that kid experienced earlier
today, I bet
I
wonder
if
he will remember this day and
this snow as I remember the snow
memory in my head. And if a person
saw me that day when I was a
child- Do they remember it? Most
likely not.
This
reminds
me
of the idea I have where when
you die- you get to sit in a movie
theater and watch a slideshow of
all of the pictures and videos
where you are the unwilling and
unknowing participant. Like being
in the background of a vacation
photo. That would be a completely
strange experience, I am sure
creative devotion, channeled through
bizarre and questionable modes of
transport
that is what i like and what I love
me an you are gona make tsunami;s if
we can say hello to fear and walk on
By
if not, we will remain static and
unborn
does the two thousand and ten creative
individual dream of working for Warner
Brothers, vs. Machinima? Dreamworks,
vs. Failblog?
I cannot say
In two thousand in ten, I was 15 years
old and I was in love with digital
video
Now i want to make big pictures and i
dont care
I love digital resolution (big and
small)
12/12/2020
12/5/2020
One
of
the
hard
truths of working on a solo
project of scale is that some of
the vision must be compromised in
order to make progress,. I have
found that these compromises are
not always bad- Sometimes the
limitations lead to breakthroughs
and new ideas- or humor. Because
of a constraint on the task- new
pathways are made.
I
will
begin
animation
on the latest project
once I am ready to- for now, I
continue to build sets, I build
props, I build mechanisms and
quality of life improvements for
my workflow. The story I have
planned is somewhat daunting, but
my work so far is promising and I
must not let the scope consume my
positivity. Some times it feels
crushing, to know how much work is
ahead of me. But realistically, If
I were to start character
animation this week, Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and
then Friday; and set a goal of 2
shots completed per day minimum,
that is not bad at all. And it
really depends on the flow. Some
days I will render 14 shots. Other
days, the fine tuning and camera
motions of 1 shot can take me an
entire day.
It
ultimately
comes
down
to how concrete the visual
ideas are in my mind’s eye. And
this comes back to the
storyboards: they are CRITICAL. I
don’t care if you think you suck
at drawing and you feel bad about
the way the panels come out. NO
ONE will need to see the
storyboard besides you. Like some
days my drawing skills suffer-
especially if I have been working
mostly on the PC for a bit, doing
the pen and paper dance is like a
foreign object for a bit of time.
But then it comes back and Im
ontop of it
I
am
wondering
too
if I am over-preparing for the
animation stage of this particular
project- I think I just need to
dive in soon (this week) and start
getting shots rendered onto my
timeline. Cuz then at least I can
find out what is missing and if
anything needs to be completely
reworked. Sometimes it all just
comes together beautifully and I
thank thee lord
Do
I
feel lost sometimes? I do,
yes sometimes feel very confused .
About what I am making and my path
ahead of me.
Do
I
fear
the
unknown? Yes I do
sometimes. But I cannot let that
consume me and I will not let it
stopme from trying. The fear of
uncertainty is a good thing to
keep you on your toes and make
things exciting, as long as you
face it and defeat it in this
temporary battle. The war on
unknown will never end however. We
will never know the future and the
best course is to take on
challenges with joy and a positive
and strong attitude. You will be
better off with this mindset. It
is a conscious choice to be bold
with actions and dedication.
Discipline with your work comes
from within, first. External
factors do play a role, but it can
be like swimming against the
current if you do not first
self-impose the work ethic.
I
wish
I
could
say that there was an easy
way to make the videos I like to
make. I wish there was a way to
show every1 how to do it too. But
the truth is that it is mostly
just a maddening amount of time
and effort crammed into an idea,
executed in a style without
compromise. Meaning, if something
requires mind-numbing amount of
care to achieve, and I want it
that way, then I will toil. And
some times it is not fun but this
is what separates the boys from
the men ( an expression I say to
myself quite often. This could
work even if you are a girl too;
its just an expression and I don’t
look too deeply into it.. It just
helps me accomplish my goals when
the work required is quite
tedious)
Even
the
tedious
work,
I can enjoy occasionally.
Because I know it will be worth it
to see the final product.
Videopix
cgi
film
has
some pacing issues of course-
This next video series/film will
be cut with this thought in mind.
Peace- Jack
11-21-2020 Lucidity
It
was the weirdest thing -- last
night before I settled in to get to sleep I
almost grabbed a notebook and pen to bring
with me to bedside just in case i woke up
and had an idea or something to quickly
write it down -- i decided no im not going
to get the paper and pen i doubt ill end up
using it. Next thing i kno im watching G
gundam dozing away into sleepmode and im
like HOLY shit .
the ideas ive
had, the narrative and visual concepts ive
been pushing and pulling with these last
several weeks all start CLICKING together like
a symphony man. It was pure ecstasy man. I
jumped up and grabbed my note book and
started pouring pages writing until my hand
hurt ,, finally able to weave the clumped
mess of thoughts together. Integration!
Clarity!
I've been
working very hard on this next project, but
it has been behind the scenes work. CG toil.
rigs, models, sets, props, compositions,
character textures; and still wasn't quite
sure how to go about the actual presentation
or structure. I had some passing ideas, a
very very loose plan. But last night, in
that notebook (it was a mini vest sized
composition notebook)
between You and ME
Something amazing happened:
Knowledge
Finding
If you think you
feel stuck or in a creative rut- Pick up
some books at the library or thrift store
and read them. It will not be a waste of
your time, I have proven to myself 1000
times that it will never be a waste of the
time. It will flood your mind with new
thought patterns. I think part of it, is
because a real book is very physical. But it
allows you to step outside yourself for a
time, while still having tactile sensation.
this brain mode i find helpful to spur new
ideas and connections, without even having
to try very hard.
If you work mostly at the PC, it helps to
have a couple coffee table type books
sitting on or beside your desk. So when you
feel burnt or tired of what youre doing,
looking through those types of books will
bring on some new inspiration. This works
for me at least, even if ive read all the
pages and know what is inside.
Computer KeyBoard
Suggestions?
Can any1 recommend
me a good mechanical keyboard? Email me at
jack1human@gmail.com
I like my shit to sound like a toy. Loud ass
clacks. Very clicky and full switches. I
know I like Cherry red style keycaps. I
think i currently have blue and I am not the
biggest fan. Full sized (num pad) required.
For those shortcuts mon. got to be quick. I
dont care about lighting. I like to work
with my room lights on all the time. I dont
do well when its dark (for work). I like the
dark. Just not while Im working. cuz i will
often use paper while working on pc for
sketching or notes to self./ Thanks any1 who
can help.
Rejecting Surface
Polish and the Status Quo
Taking
high
effort,
skilled
work,
and
packing it into simplified
structure of conveyance. The
creator should not fear to strip
down the work to its bones if the
message and meaning can still be
thoughtfully conveyed. The
individual should be able to
meaningfully implement and
energize their ideas, without
toiling for a lifetime, or
requiring a small army of others,
to do so.
Within
our
lifetime,
these
tides
will
turn in the mainstream-
life-imitating CGI will be seen as
tacky and false. True beauty will
embrace the technology without
seeking a finish line of hyperreal
.
There
is
power
in
creative
effort,
no matter the surface.
Polish of the surface has become a
cheap trick in an age of creation
where things are designed to look
beautiful- when this is the case,
nothing has beauty. Introspection,
followed by iteration; Beauty is
grown outward from the creations'
core - Convert the brain motor
action into thoughtful action.
Have true belief in yourself and
your thoughts. If you do not
believe in yourself, Research more
things to solidify who you are,
what you believe, what is
beautiful; what is good to you,
what is not good to you. Take note
of the things you do and do not
like.
Flex
your
head
until
your brain is strong.
Push
your
limits.
Shoot
for the stars.
Take
on
a
project
far
beyond
your skill level. You will
progress exponentially. But ONLY
if your visual crosshair is
cemented in place. No wavering or
you may soon find yourself lost.
Believe in yourself and what you
want to create.
Do
not
worry
about
impressing
others-
only aim to impress
yourself and exceed limitations
imposed by yourself or others.
Break boundaries, rules get thrown
around far too often to pay any
serious attention.
Conventions
of
a
medium
exist
to
be warped and played with. The
names we remember are those that
chose to break free from
conformity. Others may find you
insufferable and bizarre- but
remember what you are doing, what
you wish to become. What you hope
to someday achieve. There is no
end- it is an infinite series of
springboards that progress
successive creation. Mind
projection
rendered
faithfully
into physicality.
Follow logical steps to reach that
vision.
RIGGING
THIS FISH WAS A MISTAKE - I OFTEN
WISH I NEVER WENT AHEAD TO RIG THIS
BASS. I TOLD MYSELF THAT THE WAVE
MODIFIER WAS A HALF ASS METHOD. I
WOULD NOT BLINDLY USE THE WAVE
MODIFIER ON THE SEA BASS. IT TURNS
OUT ANIMATING A FISH POSE TO
POSE IS REALLY DIFFICULT. IT
TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS TO BLOCK OUT A
SKETCHY LOOKING SWIM CYCLE. FISH
HAVE TINY BRAINS. THIS WAS NOT WORTH
THE TROUBLE AT ALL.
Log World 2
Today,
I
feel
calm
positivity toward the project,
and the pace of life and expectation.
It has been Ups and downs this past
couple weeks - For a day or two I felt
very lost- I felt in over my head. I
felt unsure of myself, I felt defeated
and I felt incapable.
I spoke with my mom on the phone that
day- which I realized was her
birthday, later that week, followed by
a phone call apologizing for not
realizing it at the time. She knows my
brain is in other places sometimes
though so she was not upset and was
thankful that we spoke on the phone
for awhile on that day. Then i told
her how I was feeling and she helped
me sort through the thoughts and bring
my head up above water. The phone call
really helped me sort my thoughts, and
size up the fears I was facing
A lot of the fears and stress I impose
I AM THEORIZING stem from a grown
expectation to present and post
things, work and progress, etc. here
is what i think: people that post more
about the stages of creation put less
thought into the actual final full
thing. It has to be that way. Cuz
whenever I try and post some
intermediary thing, my brain always
"loses its place" and confused by the
validation recieved from others,
straying me further from the path of
completion. Like my brain gets a bit
tricked by the temporary satisfaction,
which disincentivises following
through with everything. It also opens
up the door further for second
guessing and not just going with the
gut mind on things. Which is
important. The solo decision making
process that happens internally. It
can be like a little orchestra
sometimes where mind goes back and
forth for a bit and then a strange new
solution or idea appears from no where
and you laugh to yourself and choose
that odd solution full steam ahead.
This happens to me a lot. The more I
invite others into my creative space
or process, I find that spontaneity
happens less.
The end of video pix isn't really the
total end- videopix serves as a
creative tool for me. I do want to
wrap this ARK up Nice for every1 who
keeps up. The next story beat is gona
be fucking sick though. I will set the
stage nicely for further flesh.
Also thinking I might sell out soon.
Jump ship an start working for Warner
Brothers
Just kiding
Videopix should be done by Tuesday
peace
10/25/20
10/14/20
Dude I bought a new keyboard but it is not
clicky enough,, So I swapped back to my old
keyboard ,,, I feel dumb but it is ok,,,,
I like both but the ultra clicky is very
tactile and satisfying to work with.
I have still not learned how to properly deal
with the irrational disappointment I
experience when I am not able to finish a
project in a single day. These are projects I
have created that are the size of Texas. I
have created this monster./ These thoughts are
irrational. I have dealt with turmoil from
these feelings in the past, and have faced the
feeling many times. I have grown as a human
for overcoming the fear, and allowing my
projects to span multiple weeks, months years.
Seeing it out. - The realized potential of
ideas. But I think this monster lives
in so many great artists. I am working
on accepting these things. Going to bed
feeling happy about the work I was able to get
done V.S. Feeling down about the long list of
incomplete steps. I have dealt with turmoil
from these feelings in the past, and I will
destroy the feelings and will laugh in the
face of fear, So that I can grow
I am seeing vidpix 11 coming together before
my very eyes! I am confident in my animation-
my "par" quality however has risen
(self-imposed expectation) so I am doing a
couple passes on each shot to nail the
character motions and reduce the "dead air"
space that some of my scenes in the past have.
It is partially due to laziness and haste,
partially due to me being unsure of what was
needed. The secret spice mixture of LIFE.
thats what i was some times missing.
I see your motion capture.
I see your physics sandbox.
I see your A.I.
I see your Rotoscope.
And I spit on them all. And then take a big
hammer and destroy them. And watch as you
bounce like a fish on hot cement
You say Drake. I say Pearl Jam
you say Weed. I say Salvia 40x Discomfort
Blend
Peace- Jack
4
Jack
10/4/20
BlogPost
01:11
P.M/
User
Interface
also
know
as
UI.
What
is
the
purpose
of
a user interface? IT IS like the
dashboard of the car that allows me
to make small adjustments to the car
without having to open the hood and
touch the engine or electronics
myself. The term GUI. Graphical user
interfACE. GRAPHICAL is the part I
will lean on heavily for my ideas of
user interface.
You
might
think
that
a
GUI
would
be
best
built
in Gimp, No? Well it turns
out- I am slow at the photo programs
because I did not use them much when
I was a kid. I am fast witha nla
video application since I have been
using Sony vegas since I was little.
So in the past, for GUI, I have used
GIMP, Pencil2d, Sony Vegas, and
maybe a bit of blender for
compositing, depending on the
complexity. Itsa fried workflow no
doubt But its fine. If I had to go
back to those projects though and
make adjustments, it would be a
headache for sure. I have gotten
better at sorting my files and
folders but no wherte close to as
organized as I would like. And
before any of my drives bite the
dust, I need to purchase a few TBs
of storage to back everything up.
Been meaning to do that for a minute
now
This
seems
like
a
good
opportunity
to
Start
fresh
with
an file organization system
that is cleaner, going forward.
Back
to
the
GUI.
I
can
animate
the
whole
thing
in Blender, compost it all
nicely- yes- BUT I have worked a few
days on all the components and it
would be nice if I didn’t have to
animate the components like- as a
proxy user exoperience. I would
prefer to implement the design and
button and the states of the Gui
into a functioning interface. I know
I can make this happen with Unity.
But I really am not sure if I feel
like going down that rabbit hole for
this project. The one upside is that
I could use the starting framework
of that design to potentially
squeeze into an actual, playable
game sometime down the road. I know
there are developers of games that
do it all by themselves, and mad
respect for it- but the game will
either lack in all areas due to the
1mandev being spread too thin, OR
the project will take 5 years and
leave a bad taste in the mouth by
year 2/. A passion project to never
see the potential it could have had.
In
a perfect world, here is what
would happen-:
I
make the patreon (or whatever
platform) month-based, rather than
project based
I
receive enough attention from
videopix full release to concievably
earn a living from the external
support
I
begin immediete work on the game- A
game that people can really sink in
and enjoy- something that their
continued support would be worth it
to them
I
team up with another party, who
would know there way around Unreal
or Unity better than I, in order to
make the best game possible. I would
support this 2nd party with income
received from supporters. They would
also have stake in the game.
After
the
game,
maybe videopix continues-
End
of
perfect
world
thoughts.
I
am
excited
to
see
what the future will hold and I
am aware that some things take time
and patience. And some things will
not go as planned and the world will
not go my way. That is alright. I am
ready and willing to face the
challenges ahead. I encourage
challenge- I encourage opposition.
Sometimes I seek it, even. I don't
know why I am like that. Some times
I am hot headed towards others
because I am passionate. I try to
treat others with the same respect
that I expect to be given on a
flatline basis.
I
hope
the
GUI
I
am
creating
lives
up
to
my imagination
Winter- I am ready
for the cold weather. I like it- I like
that
cold
air
on my nose and on my fingers til they
cant feel any more.
and
you shouldn't
build an igloo hut without gloves because your
hands will freeze. it has happened to my toes.
but i still have my toes. I was 100 percent
sure they were going to be needing amputation
after spending 1 hour having fun in thee deep
snow with sneaks on
. inside for 25 minutes and I still had no
feeling in my toes.. then it came back
eventually. i could live with 1 toe missing
(real easy to get a fake 1) so i was not even
happy when the feeling arrived back on my door
step
I like CGI as much as
I like traditional; I never had a playstation
growing up- I had a 64 and a game cube. But i
have always been a lite gamer. There are like
5 games I really like ever
I really enjoy film and
video- movies, anime, cartoons... All
strike me as more interesting to enjoyy than a
video game. But sometimes- a game is just what
you need- an outlet that has feedback/
I think the low rez
cg will outgrow its ps1-retro label soon.
hoping so at least
call it lowres CG or some thing instead
I have to finish VIDEOPIX now
that I have closed up work on the Melodi
project for E. I really think the sequence
came out nice and I am happy with it all. I am
prouud of my work- as artists say (at least i
think thy do) He had given me a very detailed
breakdown of what his vision was- and I was
elated to read it. That is so helpful
for me, with external or collaborative work.
My brain begins to wander off on different
paths during the creative process and I can
end up in some strange place versus where I
intended to go with the mission. So having a
guide map is super important for me, if the
work is for something outside of my sphere
Mind
If the project is for me- i let that brain
wander where it wants. see what comes out the
other side
Can I take a plane to a
different place even though there is the
virus? If i am free of pathogen will they let
me in to there border? just for little visit.
to see the novel sights and sounds . change of
pace from beautiful boston mass ( HOme of the
Boston Red Sox and world 4 Jack 4 World
Manufacturing Industries)
peace 9/28/2020
Sea Monke ySea Monkey Do
September 19th 2020
No
body
knows
how
to
tackle
life,,
I
don't
know
how
to work up the courage to face fears
of my own. Moving geo location is one of
those fears. I try and pry myself away
from the wooden plank habits that have
calcified around me during the past 6
months. I realize it is not good to have
this box around oneself. But aren't we all
creatures of comfort? I experience a
feeling of calmness when my routine and
daily routine go by smoothly and soundly.
So what if the days are boring? is it
selfish to leave the periphery unattended?
I have my art and my books and my friends
around me and my friends worldwide on the
web to keep me alive and breathing for
fresh breaths of life outside the wormhole
of work I tunnel into. I am not worried
about becoming a "shutin" . I know I have
to finish videopix- I know that once I do,
I can explore once again. The phases of
creation are in a Sine wave on the graph
I don’t
mind being turned on to the computer, I
find it liberating. I am always finding
new things. New TOOLS., I see potential in
the things that lay around me. I like
seeing other web users, and I like trying
to gather the scope of my wonders and
questions. (never ending questions) I like
reading Opinions that clash so strongly
with my own, makes me laugh and keep
perspective on every thing.
-jack
STUART LITTLE'S
LITTLE BROTHER STUART LITTLER
My
Life
Span So Far: September 13
1995 September 13
2020
Age
10
and
Age
25-
those
were
cool
to
me
when
I was little. it felt good to turn 10
i remember thinking it was just a cool
number. was because of Animated TV shows
where the main kid was 10. and i probably
looked up to them. i dont remember what tv
show it was, maybe the show Recess,, or
Ash in pokemon,,, not the important part
I am now the second
cool number- today I turned 25, and I got up
brite and early to finish work on the
videopix. skipped my morning coffee even,
without any opposition or nagging from my
mind. Things can come together beautifully
sometimes. videopix 9 kinda crunched me, but
i do it to myself/
Im not a fanboy but blender is 1 of the
most liberating pieces of software I
have ever touched. It makes me excited
for this world. I realized this after
looking into the grease pencil section
of the manual last night. Most creative
software suites puts mind into a box of
SAME, because the tools lack the fine
tuning required to make it your own. So
many people's art is withered from these
limitations and THEY CANT EVEN SEE IT!!!
but you shouldn't diminish people's
efforts because of this, this is not
their fault- i blame (1) the current
washed out state of software, and (2)
the education institutions, for
purchasing bulk liscences and teaching
the kids the wrong stuff because they
got a good deal with autodesk or
whatever. i never used autodesk software
so maybe its cool.
Luckily, even with its Many
shortcomings,. windows 10 is really
good at supporting legacy software
i wonder what could be possible with a
full team of artists and craftsman
working together? even a small team of 3
or 4? I am conscious of other's wishes,
and can empathize with others, but I do
raise my voice and oppose when something
conflicts with my internal standard of
quality. like an idea or a concept or
even a direction something is going. or
the work itself- I will never allow a
team or any group effort turn the tides
of what I believe should be achieved or
worked towards. Sometimes things must be
compromised though,. I realize. the
compromise comes with other factors in
the mix, like time constraints or
heirarchy of command
I just like to make things my way. with all
of the faults and twisted logic decisions.
and ive never really worked alongside
a team anyways. so why does it matter jack?
go enjoy the remainder of your birthday dude
- ok ok good bye and PEACE
making a book
that actually works
is hard
But it is worth it
Right now I am frustrated. that I am
avoiding the thing
I dont like the "spine fold" i get when
using Shape keys maybe i am just bad
at making properly animated shape keys
(something to get better at)
basing this rig from an old cgcookie
tutorial (what a fried name for a platform.
Cgcookie? its this french (?) dude. what
were you thinking with that name brother)
(why are all the master riggers located in
france? is this phenomenon linked to
ubisoft?)
I need my pages to be double sided--and
things are getting clustered and a bit
confusing as it is
This is going to be another frankenstein
monster rig- it always is for the props`- an
i wouldnt have it anyother way
if it was easy, that would mean it was
"templated" and corny looking anyways
there is ALWAYS a solution- it just may take
some time to figure out. and a lot of the
times, the solution is west coast Custom to
your brain.
I take a 5 kilometer walk (no earbuds) to
solve a problem, hoping it leads me to
a solution, whether it be for the original
problem, or another brain puzzle i deal with
. then i fast walk home to apply the idea
before it gets lost... that is the marker of
a good day for me - if the walk workx
9/6/2020
9/3/2020 You
Vs.
In order to reach a complex goal,
one must ONLY think deeply about
the incremental steps along the
path ahead.
The End goal must
be
thought of VERY sparingly. (!)
It is hard for the
mind to understand and digest
possibility when looking at
challenges from the finish line,
before you have even started the
race. If you are on your own,
doing an independent task, it is
so important to put on horse
blinders and just understand and
accomplish the smaller goals that
will lead you to the complex
finish. The deep thinking and
meditation should be put towards
fully grasping the stepping stones
and leaping to each one
confidently and without hesitation
If you allow the
final goal present in your mind
during these incremental stages,
The mind begins to create
anxieties and fears that run in
parallel to the large task. This
leads to inaction, and turning to
robotic behavior of the every day
motions rather than embracing the
twisting, coiled headspace of the
creator. The fears that accompany
the task. Failure, Rejection,
Harm, Losing Time,.. These are
some of the primal fears.
We,
as
artists, are intelligent
enough to overcome these
primal fears
The more complex
the
goal, the more necessary this way
of seeing becomes.
The mind will also
play the trick of confirmation
before the goal is reached. This
will lead to failure, due to
inaction. The mind drapes a sheet
over the overwhelmingly complex
road ahead, then shines the End
Flag brightly in your foreground
mind space, as if you had
manifested it without having to
suffer. This is an illusion of the
mind, and a quite common (and
devious) self-illusion. I have
fallen victim to this trick. I
have seen others fall victim to
this trick.
It is important to
acknowledge what is happening, and
understand how to reverse the
thought pattern, while it is
taking place.
A false
conjuration
of the desire, existing only
within your mind. If all artists
fell victim to this conjured
success, there would be no works
of art, no output of the human
mind. It would only exist within.
Break,) If we ever
gain the power to manifest
complete and persistent worlds
within ourselves, then we will be
able to transcend the physical
world. Leave our vessels behind,
in exchange for the eternal. That
is the true realm of intelligence-
existing boldly as everything, yet
nothing. Taking baptism in the
soup of everything; becoming One
with All again. Like we were
before we were born a mind, and
like we will be once again some
day
9/1/2020
Rendering
the first scene;s shots- this project is
gona be a large animal i will tackle. But i
have been having fun rigging characters to
use- i watched The art of Rigging and that
got me juiced on making decent rigs, because
it actually DOES make life much better with
clean control points that do what they are
supposed to, so that way my time is not half
spent correcting deformations that look like
Ass. and now that i know how to do it well,
it is a fun process rather than Baby's First
Frankenstein Operation Board Game. i had
been putting off that practice knowledge, so
this is a good thing to get done
I am modeling many
objects each night, gives beautiful life to
my film sets. Day time is for animating. It
is too intense for me to do at night- I get
really stuck to my screen to make sure
things are working exactly. If you notice
errors in my videos, i am painfully aware of
the errors. It just sucks my Time Soul so
bad to go back and fix the smaller things in
the late stage of train ride. It is very
difficult to acheive perfect clockwork for
me. Some, are more skilled at that.,, MANY i
would say, are more likely to care and
attend to those details. But it is less
important to me. I do think it IS worth
trying, however, there is no excuses here.
it cant really be a style to submit to the
errors. ease of watching- is achieved with
flow and tempo (maybe- gota think more about
that)
2think
8/30/2020
I
always
need
to
think
for
a
few
days
after
I
release
a video pix. 1 because my
brain is worked. 2 because I need to
sort my thoughts. 3 because every1
needs a little time for peace. But
once I get through a book or work on
things beside videopix for a bit of
time then I start getting the ideas
again they start flowing in like
foot steps bouncing on the music I
have in my ear buds up and down
squish and squash along and then I
get writing in my notebook and get
so excited once again to do that 8
mile sprint again. I don’t think I
could work on something that had
gotten boring to me, like once
something does not spark that part
of my brain that is curious and
excited- it would lose my interest
So
videopix
some
times
confuses
me
because
it
treats
me
very
well,
as a way to express myself. If
I ever feel confined by the
narrative, I get refreshed with new
ways to tell the story I want to
tell, new ways to visualize the
world that I want you to be
spectator. And small decisions in an
episode that had little thought at
the time some times turn into major
stepping stones for my brain to leap
from onto the next lily pad. And
that is exciting that I am able to
find that joy out of making it all
1
thing
I
want
to
focus
on-
in
moderation-
is
spectacular
animation
quality. Sense of speed-
inertia, flow, ryhthem. When I make
the things, I take great care to
make sure the animation looks good.
But I want to excel, and grow with
it. But it cant start looking canned
like so much CG animation. My style
is messy. But It can be a tightly
wound mess of wire at least.
Manufacture
has
begun
on
the
physical
release…
im
not
sure
when
the
cutoff should be however, When
exactly should the master edit be
compiled. Episode 12? That’s a few
months away…. Its something to
thinkabout.
2 book
recs: both hesse:
Siddhartha
Narcissus
and
Goldmund
first
book, That book rules. Second book
takes forever to get good but I like
the world it is set in. the setting
and themes it inspires me.
I
have
two
copies
of
Stephen
king
:The
girl
who
loved
tom
gordon And both are being used
to level the legs of my desk Lol. I
havent read that book. I do like
stephen king
Running
into
a
bit
of
trouble
with
new
website,
specifically
the
blog.
I am unsure how to go about
the blog. I just update the html
directly for this current blog. But
I don’t want it to be static. Might
just have to settle for this exact
style blog basically embedded into
some of the framework ive been
working on. Novice here don’t rash
I
am
happy
about
the
flow
of
things
currently
but
my
neighborhood
is getting reeeeaaal
old lately… it is tiring to see for
so many months the same places.
It
is
a beautiful place but, everything
wears after awhile
Peace
and love-
autumn
will bring a bit of fresh air
jack
8/18/2020
the technical hurdle
breakthroughs,,,,,,,,, that is why i
like video and Cgi and any motion
video pixures for real. things are
like puzzles to solve, and there are
tons of ways to go about the
task. With the style-less
solutions being the easiest, and the
style-max options being the most
challenging and time consuming. it
always proves worthwhile to take the
tediuous mind numbing route for a
final look that makes you happy.
that is also how new things are
made- new techniques and flows.
novel visual experience. and also i
know this will be a really dope
videopix, this next 1.
i know i keep
saying this but after i finish pt 9
i think i will wrap the "film" into
a single container, rather than
episodic viewing. Make some
thumbdrive copies- new age media
packaging >=) sit
tight bc the
Vegetables need a bit more Time
roasting in the Oven. and then we
will feast. On delicious videopix
ive been
recording some behind the scenes
stuff, which is a lot of fun to look
back on the project files- but man
my voice sounds cruusty on my
webcam. this is actually a cool
webcam though. it is a tube shape
and is a bit older. i
do all the voices
with the webcam mic and its buutter
for that
i bought some
gashwankana or whatever that bottle
is called. the herbal stress
supplement. i get in my head some
times. gonatry it out. shout out to
hole food market no im not a prime
member fool
Here is my
2hour-ps2 ambient menu music mix
upload. that i use to work
diligently. and think clearly.... it
is mp3 so you can load on your Zune
16gb and unplug from the web for a
hour. ANd now you can do that too
thing is held together with shoe goo
ur gona need to wintab out or ctrl alt delete
eject button to exit the game window
duno how to script ui
trying to understand unity engine makes me
feel insane
blender is a much
cozier software
before bringing my meshes into unity
:
8/6/2020
A bee
stung my hand this
afternoon
as a
kid , a bee flew into my
mouth and stung the inside of my
cheek. x man origins
Insects used to confuse me . still
kind of a trip. i used to hunt dragon
flys that was funmakinga little
dragonfly farm. Little dragon fly farmer
I have
the "dog days" summer
time Blues my gangsters. Feeling a bit
deflatedworld- But that’s ok- if we felt
happy and juiced all the time- it would
all feel flat,
Physical
movement is good for
these feelings but we all must rest too
any1
else's house shake at
night? mine shakes and keeps me from
falling asleep some times. Stupid ass
house
photoshop's
content aware
delete fill was the last thing that made
me say <wow!>
cuz
its just that good. clever
soft ware
Eye Strain
7/7/2020
THIS
IS A BIG WAVE TO EVERY 1 WHO HANGS
OUT. BIG ARC , FRIENDLY WAVE -=)
I found that neocities gives a
analytics page for my site. It shows
me site hit counts on a graph; so
thanks neocities and thank YOU buds
over air wave
I would like to tell you guys straight
up im going to chop most of my post
from 3 days ago----- . I just got
worked up because maybe some times I
feel left out or excluded from things.
The truth is- I am the one who
completely excludes myself- not my
friends doing it to me. they are good
humans. i search deep down and pull
the real emotion out of that well.
Quarantine makes it harder to escape
from those types of situations, the
brain playing tricks on my emotions,
which would allow it to not bottle up
inside me and become anger or sadness
twisted towards others/. My friends,
roommates, are all kind, caring, and
inclusive people and they dont care
nor should i care what they or I do or
dont do. That was dumb of me to look
down on any1 else. sorry guys,,,,
(sending telepathically- prettysure
they dont read this. i see them and
talk to them every day). and i gota
check myself on that type of stream of
thought. cuz i duno. its just dumb to
be a baby about shit.
Radar: Scan some of my physical
drawings this week- just mix it in
with the blog ,,Yea that would be
good. need to work on this section of
the site too, maybe have page # at the
bottom so you can kinda navigate. Like
10 posts per page. gota be careful
though- blog sites i sometimes visit
have that chronological date NAV on
the side bar that overwhelms the f out
of me. i end up looking at LESS
because it is all tucked away in such
away that makes it hard to explore. My
blog is pretty hard to explore i am
sure too. but lets turn that into
organized chaos ?
while
making
last
vid, I got aahead of myself with
the pre production. thats alright
though and honestly a nice way to go
about things. Because it sets me up
nice for the next part of the proj,
with the pieces that i didnt have time
to use in the release.
Okay now a
Realistic perspective: modeling,
texturing, designing, and lighting A
Forest is a mad difficult task when
you get to the bottom of things. When
you are in the woods, on the ground,
at eye level, high above you, in the
distance, what do you see
exactly>> Dense amount of
organic material......now walk 300
meters to your left. A totally
DIFFERENT SET OF DENSE ORGANIC
MATERIAL.. There is no easy way that I
know of to make that space, with my
style . yea yea maybe you got your
fancy woods generator add on that you
use to get cucked on art station ,,,
thats not my Jam rock star --- i do it
my way or the hi way. and i think my
way will be by being smart about it
and just making sure i am not over
extending myself creating the forest,
but still paying close attention to
the detail required for a convincing
space
thats
building the set..thats the 1st
tackle. next i got my dudes moving
through it. for me, that is the more
difficult piece of the puzzle. Since
they are moving dynamically through
non planar space, it May involve a
*uck ton of tedious hours moving pose
to pose or tweaking a walk cycle along
a path to grab ANYTHING CLOSE to
believable movement. That is hard as
fuck!!!!! Mostly because of the raw
Time investment. This is crazy jack I
said, But thats my shittt i said after
And also, i said
after those 2 things : there must be
an easier way . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A challenge... I
must accept.... Or I will never learn
and grow.
Last month,
the major output was the video
composting, the audio, the traditional
(digital) animation... All fun stuff
for me- But behind the scenes I was
struggling with the best method to
take down the animal a.k.a. the forest
interior.
The story has
been written since day 1 here- the
vision, I got that. The tools; i
gotthat. the drive i
gottttthhhaaaaatttt. But the SKILLS:
do i possess the skills necessary to
make a good forest interior.? The
skills are being grown... in that
green house
Last nite i
had a big break through with a fresh
project file for an interior shot- it
produced 3 separate scene structures,
2 of which still need closer attention
and details added. But the process i
came up with is nice enough that i
will be able to apply it to other
scenes.
Then i gota think/story tile how i
will shoot my scenes, and things start
to appear easier to manage in the
rearview
if 2 characters are walking and
talking... Most of the shots can be
Close ups. Very few medium shots will
be required. I will bounce from close
up, xtreme close up, Long shots, and
xtreme long shots. Maybe tap a medium
shot in a pan for transitionary
purposes but never on a hold. That
way.... I can Fake a lot of it till i
make a lot of it
short cuts
are necessary and pay off in the end
with the time it allows me to focus on
the animation. The animation of it all
is what I really enjoy and like to
direct my attention on. I am starting
to care a lot about tempo too;; the
pacing; the structure, whatever you
call it ,,,,
But . everything
else has to be wicked too . or else i
wouldnt be happy with it. I am not a
perfectionist but i gota tackle
visions with the best of my abilities.
if i dont at least give it my all then
im just a sucker...
I am hoping
to come across a clean solution to a
texture effect puzzle i have set for
myself during this whole forest
planning process. I know what I want
the effect to look like- but i am
still figuring the best possible tool
on my toolbelt to make it worth the
effort
today, the
weather is beautiful. There is a
breeze comin in to my bedroom window
as I type this. The sun shines and I
am relaxed. This is very much a nice
feeling When I think of versus how I
am in my head during the late stages
of a vidd. I would say that feeling is
semi manic, inwardly. obsessive and
slightly worried it will never reach
the final stage. So I work like mad
jumping to the necessary steps to
finish it so I can be calm again
I like the cycle of work.
I like relaxation once in awhile
though too-.but , i like to stay on my
toes
peac3
7/4/2020
-retracted thoughts-
-change of heart-
Every1s journey
is unique I have to remember,
remind myself that fact... my
body is my minds temple. please
You will not disturb the temple!
i always catch myself blocking forward
momentum in my projects because I am Scared of
technical failure- Not to be confused with
artistic failure- I am confident in the things
I make. Even if they fail artistically- the
journey making the thing is stilldope
its the Technical failure that is scary- My
work flow is like..... imagine constructing a
human sized escalator out of lincoln
logs...... yeah some thing like that. Half the
time i am unsure if half the things will even
work by the time I get to stage X in the
process, let alone be cohesive at all. Cue a
day or several of brain bouncing the stupid
idea all for a stylistic decision Ive got to
get right that wont matter to 99% of people
watching. BUT... that is where the hidden Soul
(tm) is packaged i think.
I think most of the CG things we see today are
pretty much glued together with popsicle
sticks and elmers glue contraption- or at
least that is my perspective from where my
work flow stands. A lot of solutions are work
arounds and tricks- and thats just the way it
goes baby
6/22
6/20/2020
cleverness:
is a holy trait in the realm of progress.
technical "work arounds" to hard problems we
are faced with.- a situation that requires
clever solutions.. Like the man from jurrasic
park said 'clevaa girll'.... about the raptor.
it surprises others- in unexpected ways.
Inventiveness; ingenuity,,,,, mad
important,... big brain sh*t
.
game idea: Hookah Lounge Simulator 2020
footbags keep breaking ,,. the stitching blows
out
excited to start animating my characters for
this next 1. hi production value is my motto
for this 1 =)
p3eace- JACK
6/17/2020
There are so many ways to
grow. Mastering all artform=impossible. Art
is endless; greater than you me and any
human life. That is why it is powerful even
if it seems silly- it is the only thing
worth doing because nothing matters. it is
the greatest legacy you coul;d ever leave.
because creation is special. mind creation
is extra special/ use the godspark now or
lose it- it truly is up to you. and that is
beauty freedom of mind in action =)
On a side note- fuck the beetles (band)
Experimental films
are cool- some times hard to watch, my mind
wanders... I hhave thought a lot about novel
experimentation with traditional 2d
animation. A lot of existing examples are
trash, from the 60 70 80s. some is good. But
often i notice: the beuaty in mastery of
craft was thrown out the window in favor of
an experimental wild implementation instead.
Theres gotta be a balance.... If the
movement sucks to watch, hurts the eyes,
then i dont care how far from mars your
ideas are... you gota bring the screen
nectar along with the fried ideaa../
Science, technology, math
help us understand the domain
Help us to grasp the chaos. But they do not
lead to inner truth of the chaos realm. They
are best-guesses at the nature of things. Is
mathematics found, or is it created? I am
not sure-. Does vegetation need mathematics
to be the supreme life form? Present on
earth rock for eons. the vegetation time
scale is stretched far beyond our little
human time scale. Mother Gaia=Ancient Plant
Life. The elders of the earth rock. Do not
see, they do not hear, they do not care.
Letting it all occur--THAT is intelligent
6/11/20
Guna make a forest off the hiway-
I
paintedd my
bicycle in real life. It looks good now.
also changed the head set because my other
1 was cracked (deadly)
Video
graphics for
Fiske, Matt and Eustis remain- everyone
else is completed. Made a dope thrasher
intro that im really proud of - cant wait
for everyone to see it soon. I think nick
is doing a sicky job on the video as a
whole- i am happy to add value.
It is a rainy day finally- I think i am gona
move to Antarctica. if i had an indoor skate
park insulated under ground with a missle
silo home and internet access and my stuff i
have now. i would be set for life baby
6/6/2020
I have finished my
project!!!! I am happy. I am planning on
stitching all 6
parts together into a single video, in
order to PREMIERE it to friends on a
projector
screen with popped corn and chairs. I
think it will run between 10-12 minutes
after
trimming some fat and adding in a few
deleted scenes that I left on the chopping
blok.
I think that qualifies as a short film....
Perhaps I will give sun dance a run for
their money
i
will be
boarding a large clipper
ship this afternoon ,to embark on a
spiritual
journey
in
Shenzhen,
China.
Once there,I will spec out the processer
and VRAMcomponents needed to begin
production on the VideoPix Player
prototype model.
sso just Look forward to that
Peace-jack
5/31/2020 Apple iVisited
an abandoned gelatin
manufacturing plant yesterday. Large pipes,
running in intricate networks spanned the
complex. Leading to and originating from giant
silo tanks with chemical labels on the sides.
A massive building with vats for mixing the
gelatin and chemicals. Everything was over
grown and eroding.... Very cool sights, but
the oddest part was the absence of grafitti.
Place was untouched. This stood out to me so
much because for the majority of abandoned
locations where I am, they all have a coat of
the typical grafitti playground all over the
walls and surfaces. Hopefully you can picture
what I am talking about. This gelatin plant
has been abandoned since the late 90s though.
It was so odd. Great experience.
A friendly email in my mailbox yesterday,
dropped by to say hello and share their latest
video. This video was wicked and left me
feeling great about the state of "the
independent creator". I have more words for
that thought, that I will type out this week.
But for now, here is the video that was shared
to me, it is worth the watch
Tomorrow is monday and also the first of the
month. no prob
peace.
Jack
5/27/20
beautiful
sun
shines
into
my bedroom this morning
Dived in on pt 4,5 several days ago and i feel
emotionally heavy towards this leg of the
project. i have a feeling like things are
coming to a close- this section of my story is
wrapping up. i feel attachment to this story.
i have shared my head with these
characters,
these spaces. built this world and i dont want
to leave it
growth is important. burdens and challenges
are tests for growth. hardship, fear of
unknown, frustration- all building blocks of
learning things and pushing yourself
Whatever I end up pursuing, just know it will
be hitter after hitter. cuz im growing up and
idont care
note to self:::: Always make the
story
board first thing. helps so much with brain
clutter during project (ive mentioned this on
the blog previously but i keep on forgetting
every other project)
second note to self:::: I animate at
my
best after a night of bad sleep. I will feel
crappy and worn down in my flesh but my brain
fires on weird alien cylinders that add a lot
of life to the physical movements during a
straight ahead on a sequ.
I should limit this hack because it is bad for
my health. maybe limited too 1nce or 2ce per
proj?
5/25/20
I am thankful for all of the kind folk; the
curious folk, the creative folk, the
REFRESHING folk.
I will Keep my eyes ahead. Pursue friendship
with those that think for themselves, those
that harvest unique visions. Those that pour
their precious time and energy into stamping
their fingerprints, not for fame, or any other
motive, but for a confusing drive of what can
be possible, and can be done.
The nature of the internet makes me question
things some times. The high-speed spread of
ideas on social medias shows the virus
qualities in humans. Is this good, or bad?
Both, but there's got to be a way to use the
velocity of spread to better advantage. I
think social media as it exists is regression
in what the net should be capable of, in terms
of bringing creation to life. It is like the
stone age of what SHOULD be here and
available. We are jipped by the design of
smart phones. They all have the same
functional design that allows for certain
things to be done very well- but many paths of
interactivity are therefore blocked by that
design sense.
Note:
I am working on organizing a low-resolution
Texture pack for those hoping to dive into the
crusty 3D realm. It will help many new 3D
artists, I hope.
thanks to everyone who shows love, interest,
and support. You are special to me
-PEoce out, JACK
5/23/2020
Part 4.5 will need to be next. I wish I
could have tied things up in pt 4 but I was
overwhelmed a bit with the scale. 2d animation
VS 3d animation, in a cage match boxing... the
2d animation takes way longer to get ready.
Does the make up and stands in front of the
mirror for an hour type shit. The 3d is like
splashes water on his face and ties strings to
his arms and legs and then walks out the door
I will take a little time to think and plan
I need to organize my FILES but I am AVOIDING
IT because it is TEDIOUS
JUST DO IT JACK (NIKE)
and yeah i forgot the tires so
f***********king what
sketchball2
its alrite babe.... dont cry.........because
i just realized some thing... i love world
4....
yyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah dispatch come
in dispatch- the monkeys have left the
barrel i repeat the monkeys have left the
barrel. Requesting all units- clown car shot
north on beachway
I have 2 patreon supporters- 2 more and I
will ba able to buy a jet ski that I have
been eyeing in the window of the bass
professional shops. That Jet Ski Is The
Apple Of My Eye........
05/14/2020
Next week will bring lots
of rain which will keep me inside doing the
work diligently. The beautiful weather has
been taking some of my focus away from my
desk. At least we're still in quarantine....
I am really thankful for
this whole thing. I am grateful to be able
to focus my attention. I am thankful for a
lot of things. I know it might sound selfish
to say I am thankful for the current health
crisis, But I am mad happy about the time I
have to get this work done, and escape from
the grind and dive into my preferred grind. images:
May 11 2020
Got
some
animation
work done this morning- I might
move my desk somewhere else while it rains
A
squirrel
was
trying
to
get
in
my
room
earlier
we
had
a
stare
down
and
I
broke
first.
Because
dude-
what
the fuck are you doing?!
im banging on the window
right where he is posted up
like spiderman and he';s not
even
flinching.
I was yelling at him and
he
wouldn't move. Maybe he had good
intentions?
I
saw a mom squirrel teach a baby squirrel
how to leap across branches the other day.
It was a beautiful scene.
The baby was a total
chicken
and wouldn't jump across and the mom just
kept jumping back, nudging
the young gun,
then leaping, and repeating it
to show how its done. Mad cute
Here
is
some
concept
sketch
for
what
I
want
the
characters
to
look
like
in
their
2d
animated
state.
While
in
the
car driving, at least.
I
have
to
study guns a bit. Guns and cars- just
guy shit (study time bitch) I have trouble
moving a gun around in my head. Same with
autos.
The perspective doesnt
match
what it should. Re train my brain
May 8th 2020
A lot of artists are
competing
with third world wages in the spaces I find
myself in-
I don't necessarily enjoy doing the grunt
work on my own projects- the tedious,
time-consuming, mind-numbing aspects that
are repetitive and boring- BUT, I find a
voice in my head reassuring me that it is
all worth it for what you will eventually
have realized through this hard work-
A completed project that is my vision, my
baby, something that is wholly mine and that
I slaved over like a farmer and his crop.
And this is an interpersonal feeling, a
tug-of-war game, but I believe the passion I
have spills out to the viewer.
Communicating
an
obsession
The drive that pushes me through- I don't
think money (especially the pennies that
most artists are thrown) would ever give me
the same carrot on the stick that the raw
pursuit of creation gives me.
So I don't want to work my way through the
rat race to the top, down the typical path.
The pay off seems not-worth-it. Working at
some dog shit company for years and years
hoping youll one day have the chance to
express a vision on a larger scale,
meanwhile being the monkey at the desk
slaving over the background of some scene
for a sequence that you know sucks balls.
Nor do I want to traverse the tunnel to the
bottom and work for the 3rd world chump pay.
So I gotta make my own space. and crush the
surroundings. so my space stands tall and i
can lead a way (not THE way, but a way)
May 7th 2020
I am finding it hard to dive in on the next
section of the project. I have a large
mountain to climb before I can move forward
with my vision. It is a stylistic AND
technical decision. That's okay, and its okay
to take my time with it. I have begun
storyboarding large format now. before I used
smaller paper. But I am liking the large
squares... from experience, Once I have the
story board, the process becomes infinitely
easier for me to sift through the weeds. I
actually might have to restart this one
because I have neglected to scribe close
detail to camera motions/sweeps
I like the idea of creating "design documents"
if i am not up to working on the animation
that day- it still gets some work done but is
"lighter" work. It solidifies my ideas in a
neat way so moving forward has a bit more oil.
I blew out both of my wrists the other day. So
working kind of hurts right now. It has me
really bummed out, more than I thought it
would. I experience fatigue in my wrists much
sooner now from PC use. I am trying to heal
them fast. Because it fucking sucks if I am
being honest
More
updates will be coming soon, Thank You for
checking out my blog
04-21/2020
Do:
Realize that
putting massive time and energy into a
unique idea- a creation from minds that
might be an otherwise passing thought- is
one of the most rewarding and powerful
pursuits available to human
Not the idea pattern we generate directly
from media or culture. Rather, the pattern
that is difficult to translate to others.
the ideas that are intertwined with our
stream of consciousness,
these ideas manifest with indirect
influence from media and culture. Context of
that influence is usually clouded,
even to our minds. This happens
incidentally, because we exist in modern day
and are not monks at the top of the
mountains
Both sleep and waking dreams deserve to be
translated to something beyond writing (I
don't really enjoy reading written
descriptions of these types of thoughts,)
I think these videos are part of my quest to
find the best medium for this idea of ideas.
So far I like what is achievable with the
style I have running
peace - jack
April
18th
2020
I can get used to this
How do I achieve a life of creation? I need
help from u and you and you and you. everyone
gives 1 dollar (on earth) i will have 8
billion dollars. then i should be set for most
of my life but i could use a little more so i
will just buy money printer for good measure
(keep it stored in an apartment building
downtown)
today i have begun organizing all my pc files
and boy is it a lot of stuff to sort throu
(the real pain is renaming files and making
sure everything i need liquid is liquid enough
to draw back on. mostly for blender files that
i neglect to pack in the assetts. because im
retarded. thats ok these are just secretarial
duties while i dream
April
7th
2020
having a dream of
popularity...gives you a plot of terrible soil
to plant anything of value
When you attempt to appeal
to millions
You end up with something
void of individuality
be yourself
make what you wana make
or dont
Old Entry First:
Jack
Kradolfer
Human
if you go
through
the life labryinth too seriously it
will chew you up. Existence is
bizarre, but all aspects of it are
endlessly valuable. Even the worst
things are good things. No good and
bad in the universe, only states of
on or off. Use the slice of pie you
were gifted, your On state, to its
fullest. Don't let a damn obstacle
get in the way of achieving your
dreams. Make it happen buddy, cuz i
believe in you 2019 december 12
2019
december 12
New Entry
some
day
i
will
be able to express vision without
chain and i don't mind carrying torch lamp
as it burns my hand
i feel a stronger push to light the path
to
a brighter future for creative liberation-
visual art unchained and uncompromised
catalogued and made available for
everyone to see
fog
3/15/20
2+ weeks of very little progress
due to poor idea management. bogged down
by the narrative details: always changing
in my head and i am a poor writer of
anything narrative so when i spit on paper
it all became trash. so i tried to wade
through the complications, but that could
only get me so far; it makes everything
more confusing because the goals/final
draft become unclear. the answer was
having neo just selling thee acid: no
bullllllllshiiiiiiiiittttttt jack >=)
you [12/3/19]
can change the world
any 1 can
fbi OS
Operating system called fbi OS. We will all be
allowed to use it for FREE in 50 years